How do you deal with being dumped and finding out that he cheated on you?
It would be one thing if he just dumped me. Or if he cheated on me and felt remorseful and wanted me back. But for both to happen….it’s just killed me inside. All I can think is how could I be so worthless to someone who I cared about?
Since writing this post janedoe may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. janedoe is not a verified member, has been around for 1 year and has 1 posts and 8 replies to their name.
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your not the worthless one…. he is. he does not deserve you. and he probably knew that. you don’t need anyone who is going to disrespect you like that! i know it seems hard now and you are hurting… probably thinking that it was all good and you don’t understand what went wrong…. but if you really think about the past you might start to notice all the bad things too….
you’ll survive!! someone who respects you will come and sweep you off your feet one day!
hope your feel better soon :) x
Thanks! It just came as such a shock. When I found out about the cheating incident, I assumed he’d be begging me for forgiveness and trying to get me back, but instead he just said he was sorry it happened, and then went on to say that he still didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. I asked why (because I’m pathetic) and he went on to list all of the things that he didn’t like about me. It was horrible, but I just kept asking for more. He was so cold and emotionless, I just can’t understand it.
now go grab a huge tub of icecream and watch jeremy kyle x
repeat that its a damned good thing that you know his true colours sooner rather than later so you don’t have to waste any more time with them!
Also remind yourself that if he’s done it to you then its almost certain that he will do it to his next partner too
Do you /really/ want him back knowing that he doesn’t respect ye?
No, inside I definitely don’t want him back. But for some sick reason I think it would make me feel better if I felt that he wanted me back…
cos you want the dcik to cry you a river
That may well happen in time my dear
But which ever way you cut it - wouldn’t it be just as good revenge to get on with your life and be happy? Then whenever he looks/thinks of you rather than someone thats hurt he gets to see someone that is entirely happy without him ;)
that’s my plan…it’s just taking me a while to get there! i found out last week. last monday he broke up with me and thursday i found out that he had a one night stand with a girl while we were together, about 2 weeks before he broke up with me. this whole week i’ve been crying and hysterical in front of him. asking how he could do this to me and how he could not want to be with me. i made a complete fool out of myself. yesterday was the final straw though….i deleted his phone number and promised myself not to contact him.
Good on ye :D
It does hurt - Believe me I know! - but once ye get your head down and move on its like a breath of fresh air into a musty room :D
It does hurt like hell, and its mind boggling, but it happened and you’ll get over it, i promise
DO NOT contact him. Just stop. You must hang out with your friends, take up a hobby, do something else
one thing that always helped me get over someone. is ask yourself this. imagine what hes doing right now..if hes not sitting crying about you then why on earth does he deserve you yo be upset over him. it hurts a lot but you will see that you couldnt have done anything to prevent it and some men are just nasty selfish people. xx
for some reason i just can’t look at this situation rationally. if i were rational i would hate him and not waste another moment thinking about him, but for some reason i just feel so sad. it isn’t getting any better as time goes on. i hate this so much, it’s making me completely miserable.
you never can when you are in the frame :)
If it helps print this and each time you feel yourself really feeling down re-read it
The view from outside the frame should cheer you up!
It passes in time, just like a bad cold :D
is this your first big break up?
no, i would consider it my 3rd. i just trusted him so much. and i loved him and really thought he loved me. i can’t wrap my head around how this could happen, and then on top of it he just doesn’t want to be with me. i feel sick about it and i’m trying to stay busy but it’s all i can think about and i just keep crying. i feel dead inside.
You’re grieving your loss. Cry it out. Just dont text. give it a few weeks, you’ll feel human again.
i actually miss him. wow i am so pathetic
no, You just miss the hole in your ego. Trust me.
i think you’re probably right. i keep hoping that he tries to get in contact with me, but i know that won’t change anything. i’m not going to want to talk to him or have anything to say, but i just think it would make me feel better if he did. i’ve gotten through a day and a half without contacting him. it’s a start.
Why are you so desperate for this particular guy? He couldnt have possibly been that great, after all he said he has stopped liking you and then cheated on you…sounds like a tool. Plus, he would have indicated signs of disinterest, jerks usually do.
So the question is, do you just want a warm body? Cause this guy doesnt really sound like someone to miss.
i think it’s just the rejection and the need to have that feeling repaired. i can’t stop thinking about how maybe he liked this girl all along, behind my back and him getting drunk just let him act on it. it makes me feel so low, like i’m not worth liking and she was. i also have lost faith in so many people. i’ve lost faith in myself. i don’t know how to make good decisions. i should have known he wasn’t a good guy, long before this. i just hate what i’ve become and i’m so worried about my future. i feel hopeless.
you are defiantly not worthless. please stop thinking that! there is no way of knowing that someone is a bad person. if there was there wouldn’t be so many people in the same situation as you! if you let him get to you this much he wins. you should show him that you can go on and have an amazing life that doesn’t involve him! trust me you can!!
when this cloud lifts (and trust me it will eventually) you will see how bright your future is without this jerk holding you back. be strong don’t let him stop you from enjoying life. i know its hard now and it will seem like its never going to end but one day you will have a sudden realisation and you can start healing!
in the meantime i hope these help
no go and have a good old fashioned cry and a sing and a dance around ur room and i guarantee you’ll feel better :)
Blow him up… a cardboard picture will do it you can blow the real thing up, guys are assholes sometimes, it just means the you two have not met the right person, he will never be the right person if he has done that to you, boys fall in and out of love so quick that they don’t often understand how it works for girls and because of that you have to just cut him out completely and move on!, trust me it’s for the best. your feelings will fade the less you have to do with him and think about him. hope you are alright, have a big night, lots of chocolate and girly things mope and then move on and find the man you need =D
It happens thousands of times a day. I’m sorry it happened to you. It happened to me and I ended up parenting a four-year-old son all by myself. It’s good that you have no children together.
There were warning signs–red flags–but you were too much in love to notice. Look more closely next time, and trust your gut. Before the breakup, your gut told you that this guy was a bum, but you didn’t heed the message. Heed it the next time your gut tells you a guy is a jerk!
I hope you recover from this soon. I can understand what you must be feeling right now cause even I have been through the same thing. It hurts a lot but then you need to carry yourself up and give yourself a chance cause after all you did not cheat or betray someone.
Try diverting your mind on other things that interest you. Get new friends. Along the way you will find a better person who will love you and stay faithful to you. Keep the hope and faith alive and surely you will get joy and happiness back in your life.
All the very best and yes here is something that you could read to take your mind off the problems.
I am into revenge. Sleep with his closest friends and any brothers he may have. You can kill him inside too just to let him know how it feels. Hook his girlfriend uyp with another guy…
Every time I give this advice people tell me I am a jerk. I accept that fact, and still think it is the best advice I can give.
I think you need to get urself out there and meet more guys. Go do things u enjoy doing, such as prossibly traveling, play sports, art classes etc
get urself out the house or get urself busy than waste ur life over someone who isnt capable of loving you. xx
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