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so after the last 3 weeks, i am ready to give up.
it started with a really good friend dieing in her sleep at 26 yrs old, she was the friend i could all ways turn to when i was feel down and we could talk about anything nothing hidden from each other and i have always been a loner only have like 2 close friends that i talk to and i lost one of them. then 2 days after that and 2 days b4 my b-day me and my gf split up and i have to find a new place to live with no $ saved up. well a week after that i get diagnosed with congestive heart failure, high bp, enlarged left ventral and pretty much told i will be lucky to see 5 more years if i dont change a lot of things now. this is on top of my lung issues from years of being around concrete dust and smoking. 2 weeks after that i lose my job, and my dot medical card so i cant afford the meds for my heart and cant continue driving a truck its just all so much negativity at one time, so much bad. it seems that every time things start to get ok i get kicked right back down, and now to know that my ticker is going to give out (doc said meds will only help so much) and i am going to die young (doc est next 5 to 15 years, im 33) i am really trying to find a reason to live and have came up empty. i dont really have any friends or family left, i have isolated myself over the years of being a otr truck driver. i, just at my wits end with life. i wish i did not feel this way but i find myself asking to die multiple times a day. i don’t know how to stop feeling this way.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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