Love help: i’m in a trance. - Help.com

half the time i’m so automatic about everything i do and say, things are very stressful, i think the cycle of thoughts started happening when i read about things people had said in a mental health booklet and when i spent so much time around doctors that asked me lots of questions and because i interacted a lot with patients in the hospital i was in, it’s so complicated, and my brother told me to be myself and i got this sense of identity in my mind, ever since i’ve barely changed the nature of the way i am, it’s like i’m acting out a role. i fear that sometimes i end up saying to much.

yeah, it really affected me being around those mentally ill people. I was a patient. some of them that i met were like friends but it was such a difficult place to be but an experience that hugely affected me. I practiced guitar a lot and learned some really hard dire straits songs. it was like i wasn’t mentally ill because i could understand everything that people said to me and i could communicate with them but doctors seemed to insist that i had an illness, they treated me with medication and some asked if i thought i was mentally ill which was a tricky question to answer because i didn’t know what a mental illness was and i think in my struggle to answer these questions it made me appear alkward or something which just made the doctors think there was something wrong with me. I met a nurse at the hospital who seemed to want to have a relationship with me and i liked her but she could have lost her job if she got personal with me.

thanks. they said i had schitzophrenia. i do need to relax. but i have trouble in believing i deserve to have the life i want now that i’m older, part of me thinks things should be hard, that i would be a selfish person if i was happier. when i think about my younger brother i feel able to believe that being happy really is good because i know he wants the best for me and i want the best for him but when i listen to my dad in my mind i tell myself life must be hard but at the same time my dad saved my life but i know he’s lied about things and as weird as it feels to say this i don’t feel good being with my dad sometimes i feel intimidated, confused but also loved at times but he’s so clever i just find it hard to trust him sometimes. i don’t know if i can remember what i used to be like but i’ll try and remember who i was.

true, this helps me thanks. now I have someone in mind that used to do what he wanted all the time and i wouldn’t change him for the world, i really liked him. his time is up but he was some character and really brightened up a lot of lives.