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Advice please!

!
My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 4 years. We broke up a few months ago. Yesterday, I talked to him for the first time since we broke up. He called saying that he was sorry. He was sorry for everything that he put me through in our relationship. He was sorry for always being such a jerk and having a short temper. He told me that he wishes he could go back in time and fix everything. He told me that he quit his job (which he thinks was the source of his anger), that he is buying a house and he is finally ready to start his life. He said that he wished he had committed to me when we were together and he wished he could have told me then how he really felt. I know that everything he said to me was hard for him to say. But I don’t know what to do. I still have feelings for him and part of me wants to be with him. But for us to be together again it will take a lot of time and work. I have already put a lot of time and work into this relationship just to have it fail once. I want to get married and have a family. But I dont want to waste my time either. Plus my family and friends pretty much hate him for everything he put me through. I am not sure what to do. I know he is being sincere, but I am not sure how long it will take before he becomes the time-bomb he was before. Can people really change? Should I forget about it and pursue another relationship? Should I take the time to work this relationship out? I really don’t know…

This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 213, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Together Again, relationship, first time, Yesterday, Time bomb, boyfriend, feelings, Finally, friends, Source (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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windmills, offline Verified User (5 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (21 minutes after post)

Everyone has the capacity to change their behavior, I believe. 4 years is quite a long time, but if you feel like this relationship has reached an end for a reason then I would move on and wish him the best. Every relationship has a breaking point, and only a few never reach it. But the ones that do happen to reach it will either remain irreparably broken or be patched up - but those that are patched up can indeed become damaged again under the right circumstances. It’s all according to how much time and effort you’re willing to invest in trying to restore what has been damaged and make improvements to the needed areas - that is, provided that you’re even willing to do so.

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Help me with: Out of curiosity
moonlightsupper offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (1 hour, 15 minutes after post)

It sounds like deep down you would like to give it another go but you are quite wary and don’t want a repeat of the past.

If I were you, and since you want a family and already know this guy, I would ask for commitment. If he is prepared to marry you, you will know he is serious. If he agrees, I would date him for a while before actually going ahead with it- just to be extra sure.

I truly believe everyone deserves a second chance and he really may be sincere with his intentions this time round. You still have to protect yourself though.

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