Situation help: Workplace harassment, help! - Help.com

Workplace harassment, help!

I’ve been working at this job for a couple of years now. I’ve always gotten along with everyone there, despite that fact that I’m the only girl working for the company. Recently a new employee was hired. He is upset that I have the privelige of performing certain duties at work, because I’ve been at the company longer, and he can’t. He has been talking about me behind my back to other employees saying that I am not doing my job correctly and making condescending remarks about me. He is now in this power struggle with me and now he’s doing my job and forcing me to do his. I’m very upset about this and I don’t know what to do. If I go to the boss, who is sexist, I just know he will turn this into a sexist problem, i.e “this is what happens when I hire women drama.” No one else is standing up for me against him in the workplace even though almost all of the other employees can’t stand this guy. He is arrogant and he won’t do certain jobs because he thinks they are beneath him. To add to the issue he’s got anger problems and is currently on probation for acting out on his anger. How do I handle this situation?

This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 498, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post zee20 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. zee20 is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 2 months and has 36 posts and 71 replies to their name.

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Anonymous #
12 months ago (4 minutes after post)

Get him angry

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Zirbel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (14 minutes after post)

Have an open and honest talk about with the boss of your boss. An contact the union.

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zee20 offline Verified User (3 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (20 minutes after post)

There is not boss of my boss :/

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zee20 offline Verified User (3 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (21 minutes after post)

It’s just a small company

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southern_comfort online Verified User (7 years) Long Term User Shouts: 178 #
An Undisclosed Location | 12 months ago (54 minutes after post)

Turn it into a positive. Go to the boss and say now that ‘Jack’ is doing part of your old job, that has freed you up to do more for the company and welcome the opportunity to do so.

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Anonymous #
12 months ago (4 hours, 2 minutes after post)

Firstly, don’t allow the idiot, to know he is getting to you. Idiots feed off this and try to work it diplomatically. What about going to your boss and saying

‘I’m a little confused, I’m not sure what I am expected to do as X is doing it but isn’t X supposed to be doing this as well.’

Try to get some form of understanding as to what your roles are.

Start a professional diary where you note EVERYTHNG this idiot does. Eg Monday 9th, he said ‘Some women are just a waste of time, etc.’ or Wedneday 14th he said Hello to everyone and ignored me. Note who was in the room as well. It may seem irrelevant but you need to explain what is going on because otherwise you are just a silly sensitive woman not cut out for a career. He is working you.

Join a union to get some legal advice and try to find woman’s rights advocates to learn about gender discrimination which is subtle but extremely common. If you happen to be gay, ethnic or disabled as well, you have dual/triple etc discriminations which makes it worst.

This man has problems with women. He is in a really bad place and he dislikes you for his own reasons. Don’t bother to worry about the whsy, you have to learn to live/work with him but

a. not getting drawn in to his pettiness (hard I know) and
b. getting a clear indication of your role and communicating to your bosss about how the idiot’s behaviour is affecting your job and you care about it ONLY because it affects your boss’ productivity and profits. Now you have his attention.
c. learning more about how bullying works

Will help.

Look around for another job because if this doesn’t stop, you will be better off out and really look to upping your social life and your indulgences you know, facials, girlie treats, clothes, makeup, hairdos etc. Buy some power shower gels and bubble baths so at least you have a nice wash in the mornings and evenings. And leave all this nonsense at work. Do exercises to burn off the anger so you can sleep easy. Best wishes

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