friends help: I want to kill myself. - Help.com

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Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

You can still make your dreams a reality. There are many ways, so stop feeling bad.

Still not a reason to kill yourself. People are fallible. Congratulations. You’re not perfect.
You probably did better than 50% of the others. And you did a whole lot better than those that didn’t bother to take it.

Rest for a day or two. Eat right. Watch television. Wallow in self-pity. Hide in the closet or shower and have a good cry.

Then go find out what you need to do to take the test again.

I’m so sorry to hear your story!! You have sacrificed to apply for medical school, I don’t know what to say really but I have experienced similar feelings when my dreams are crushed…

On a possitive side… there are other things out there than medical school :) I don’t know you so I don’t know what your interets are… I just hope you will find it, maybe you will if you search your heart :)

I didn’t get to go to the college I wanted to either. Christmas eve was the day I got the rejection letter back in 2010(merry christmas to me right). However I found another college that will lead me to another bigger better one, one with better opprotunities. What am I saying, when one door closes another opens. For someone like me with no luck if it can happen to me it can happen to you also.

Thanks guys. This really isn’t helping at all but probably because I’m numb to everything else right now. I don’t think I’ll kill myself yet at least. I already saw the tears in my mom’s eyes when she told me that my score was bad ( I made her check for me). I don’t think I could do any more to her tonight at least. At the very least I won’t punish my family for my own failures.

Well, that’s something. Next you have to realize that punishing yourself isn’t in your best interest either.

Not helping? Well if I could go there and tell them people to accept you I would but I can’t do that. All I can do is say to keep going about, just because one place didn’t accept you it isn’t the end as there is something more for you later. You just feel like this because it just happened so the disappointment is fresh.

Non-empathetic, kick-in-the-backside type thoughts:

Good grief what did your parents do to you? How does one become so shallow it’s M.D. or death? Do the underlying values of becoming a doctor mean nothing to you? There are an amazing number of professions in healthcare and related fields in which one can help people with illness, as one can only hope you already know. What were those “dreams and goals” you “ruined,” only pay and prestige?

If you developed such an outlook from the teachings of your parents, perhaps it’s time you began developing some independence with your perspective. You might find your way to healthier, more “decent” considerations on what’s important in life.

If you developed your simplistic, single-minded, sorry outlook without their input, you may have attended too much to learning details at the expense of the deeper thinking about what matters and why it’s quite helpful to engage in as one becomes an adult. Some call this “growth.” You have some catching up to do.

The idea it’s “too late” for that is ridiculous. In fact, this great disappointment might be just the kick you needed to renew your efforts.

More empathetic reflections:

Easy for me to say.

Regardless of how becoming an M.D. became more important to you than any of life’s other possibilities, including living itself, it did. Can happen. It’s actually understandable. Sometimes we become so focused on something for so long, it takes on exaggerated, monster-like proportions. And just like dragons (or the Hulk?), those monsters can kill you.

You’ve been dealt a heartbreaking blow, one that’s sent your life spinning into chaos. That is genuine pain. Pain deserving respect.

I offer my sincere condolences on the death of something that meant so much to you. And congratulations on finding the strength to reach out to others about your despair. That’s important.

After reasonable time mourning, I hope you’re able to find your way to a new path with meaning (for you). It likely won’t be of any help now, but if you make it to later, please consider that there are many fine ways one can live one’s life.

And you are so much more than your degree.

No my parents never forced me to try to become a doctor, nor did they ask me to do it. They never once forced me to do anything school-wise that I didn’t want to do. Even now my mom keeps telling me that it’s not the end of the world and that I have a billion other options. The truth is, I don’t want to do anything else with my life.

I was perfectly fine trying to become a professor until I up and decided that this is what I preferred doing. As I learned more about doctors and I met with patients and started talking to them, I fell absolutely head over heels for this profession. For me, it’s not the money and promise you that I’m one of the few people that says it and actually means it. My long-term plans were to start clinics that would help abused women in America as well as in other countries where healthcare is overtaken by the needs of every-day necessities.

I currently work at a hospital. I know and see what other health professionals do every day and I promise you, it’s nothing near the same. Nurse work every day for their patients but they have no say whatsoever about patient long-term care. The same goes for everyone else. Whether others like to admit it or not, with an MD, comes the power to make changes that most professions don’t and will never have.

Yeah I had big goals and if i wanted, I could try to pursue this career again…but it would take about a year to be able to apply again. It’s heartbreaking. I don’t know what to do. Every future goal of mine depended on me becoming a doctor. I know plenty of heartless and selfish people that become doctors…why can’t the same come true for someone that actually cares?

sorry about all the grammatical errors…I don’t feel like proofreading

but it would take about a year to be able to apply again.
————

364 more days to go.

Gather up your notes and get started.

I have to congratulate you a second time. Wanting to help abused women is a beautiful goal.

Are we to understand you can live — literally — with nothing other than starting clinics? Using that immense caring about which you “actually mean it” to professionally help abused women in any other way, whether with the many other support systems that exist or filling in the many unfortunate gaps, can’t make for a life worth living?

Are you certain you “actually mean it”?

I’m being harsh, of course. Even a bit unfair given the recency of the blow. But there’s a caring point hiding in there.

You probably do “mean it.” No doubt, you fell in love with all the “right” things about beings an M.D. But ultimately, a blow like the one you suffered might force you to confront your core values. If those values are associated most with helping abused women, let me assure you, there is great need for your contributions. And many roles fulfilling that need can involve substantial responsibility, intellectual stimulation, and impact.

When our “#1 option” is the i>only /i> option with matters of vast scope, it’s rare we’re not missing something.

Having said, I concur with Dragon Lady. 364 more days to go; I hope you i>do /i> find a way into medical school (whether in 364 days or 3.64 years). But I wouldn’t agree that regarding that outcome as the only one with the potential to offer a fulfilling, rewarding, purposeful life represents much in the way of wisdom. (Wisdom, not intelligence.)

Keep doing what you’re doing. Talk to people. Expand your awareness. Certainly, disagree, but try hard to keep an open mind as well. (Quite difficult while in crisis, but worth the effort.)

Find those core values, and figure out: is the role with which I fell in love really the only one I can love? I earnestly suggest that if the answer remains “yes,” you haven’t looked hard enough — in, out, or both.

I’m really sorry, I know how devastated and disapointed you must feel so I dont mean to sound harsh, but that’s life. If everyone killed themselves whenever they got knocked back then the earth would be a little sparse. Dragon Lady and MmaxX are right. You’ve gotten this far, which is a lot farther than most people; you’re well able to dust yourself off and keep going. Good luck!

Someday you will grow up and realize that failing the MCAT is the least of your problems. Ive been trough hell too and tried stabbing myself I dunno wether to hurt or kill myself but im glad that I didnt do it hard enough. Good things happened to those who stay standing no matter how bad the situation is.

Study shows that inner peace helps too. Keep the faith. Pray my friend.

Ok guys thanks. I’m not over it but I have the stupidly annoying decision of what I want to do with my life now (not that I didn’t already know LOL–at least I’m trying to joke about it ok.)

Admissions are already closed for everything. Right now I work and an electrocardiogram technician but I’m thinking that I would like to get into something that will help me in the long run. I’m going crazsysysysydfhoaeta fkldfjaljoRHGAOIJGIU. I don’t think I can give up on becoming a doctor even if it takes me 10 more years. That’s what I really want to do; but until then I need a plan. What do you think?

1. Go back and get my Masters in Biology + Research.
2. Go to Sonography school and try to complete some of my Masters at the same time + research (very heavy load)
3. Just Sonography/ultrasound school
4. Try to get into some other program (any suggestions?)
5. Complete my emt and become a paramedic (very last option since I wouldn’t be able to support myself very well)
6. Give up and be a hippie…
7. I have no f’n idea………………faeioauehibgaoejrpabfioirurghiuar933yr049-384y7tu0ei-

I’m out of ideas. Normally I wouldn’t be so annoying and ask so many times but I’m pretty desperate right now. I can’t handle not having some sort of goal. I’ll literally go crazy.

Excellent. You are going to do great.

# 5.

I also like # 6 .

A while ago I was kicked out of a college course i had friends in and put my heart and soul into doing and loved more than anything in the world, i went and tried to complete the course when i was severely ill and should’ve gone to a doctor then when i eventually went because my various illnesses got so bad everyone urged me to they kicked me out because god for ******* bid i had 2-3 days off so yeh i know that feeling of trying to climb a mountain and then getting kicked back down again. But you’ve done so well and should be proud of yourself anyway regardless of whether you got through or not, you were aspiring and can still aspire to be something amazing.

Thanks Trentlover, this makes me feel a bit better. I’m in the process of trying to get into something else but I’m bummed because I feel like I have to start from square 1 again. Taking more classes, more entrance tests, worrying over whether I’m a good enough applicant. I’m driving myself insane. The only thought I have right now is fml. :(

You’re welcome and that FML feeling will fade eventually once you get past the entrance tests etc. because of my bad record at college, and i didn’t complete the course my tutor won’t give me a good recommendation for any other course in the industry i was looking to do so sadly I can never go back and do another course but i’m sure you are a good applicant and don’t think of it as back to square 1 just think of it as all the time and effort you put in will be worth it in the end

Yeah I hope so. For now at least, I’ve lost the ability to be happy but I’ll keeping going somehow. :)

I hope everything works out for you as well since you seem to be an awesome person. (Everyone that took the time to reply is awesome too.)

To be completely honest, becoming a doctor is everything to me. I don’t think that will change. That means I’ll have to find a way somehow or another. Even if it takes another decade, I’ll get there one day.

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah I hope so. For now at least, I’ve lost the ability to be happy but I’ll keeping going somehow. :)

I hope everything works out for you as well since you seem to be an awesome person. (Everyone that took the time to reply is awesome too.)

To be completely honest, becoming a doctor is everything to me. I don’t think that will change. That means I’ll have to find a way somehow or another. Even if it takes another decade, I’ll get there one day.

thats the spirit. Only the quitters fail. Trod on.