Love help: My Story; Her Story.

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My Story; Her Story.

I cheated on my boyfriend with a previous love and became pregnant. My math sucked and I committed to the wrong man. One marriage and birth later and my daughter is not his. He would like to stay and help me raise her and be her dad. However, I am not in love with him. Her biological father is not interested in being with me and I don’t wish to raise her alone. I have received only $200 dollars from her biodad in the 14 months of her life and am struggling financially and emotionally/mentally raising her. Should I stay with a man I don’t love in the hopes that through his actions of kindness and love I can grow to love him again as I did when I thought I was pregnant with his child? and what about having to have contact with the man I am still in love with and wish I was raising my daughter with? He displays misogynistic tendencies towards me and I am hoping to shed my feelings for him. Any advice? I really need help.

This open post was written 11 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 233, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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daughter, story, raise, Stay, Love, man, infidelity, Parenthood, heartbreak (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Da⌐11 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

That’s a very tough situation you have gotten yourself into; I hope you have learned from your mistakes.

If you were married to the biological father yet found that you where not in love with him than I would have advised you to stay with him any way, assuming there was no physical or emotional abuse present in the relationship. Statistics clearly show that children have a far better outcome and social life if their parents stay together, even if one or both of them are no longer in love with the other. The only times divorce is better for the children is in case where abuse is present.

But your in a different situation being married to a man who is not the Childs father and whom you are not in love with. I would say that you need to let this man go; his loyalty to you and the child is admirable and I can certainly see why he wants to be a man about the situation, especially if he feels you do love and care for him back. But if you truly don’t love him than you need to set him free.

Your monitory situation shouldn’t really be a factory here; you made your mistakes and you need to live with the consequences; you shouldn’t use another individual so that you don’t have to feel the full weight of your consequences that simply isn’t fare to that person. Also it probably the case that you already know this and are using the idea that he wants to be with you as a justification for your actions … you shouldn’t do that as it is not justification for using someone. If he loves you and assumes you love him back, or if you lead him on to believe you might love him in the future with no guaranty, than he is not making decisions that are best for him knowing all the facts.

As for the biological father it is him that you should be shifting 50% of the burden for your mistakes on. He should be the one to deal with the consequences of the actions you both took, not this other guy who seems to be a rather nice person for being willing to share your burden though he doesn’t have to. You should seek full child support as vigorously and viscously as you possibly can.

Your are at a defining moment in your life; choose to do the right thing and be a better person.

That’s a very tough situation you have gotten yourself into; I hope you have learned from your mistakes.

If you were married to the biological father yet found that you where not in love with him than I would have advised you to stay with him any way, assuming there was no physical or emotional abuse present in the relationship. Statistics clearly show that children have a far better outcome and social life if their parents stay together, even if one or both of them are no longer in love with the other. The only times divorce is better for the children is in case where abuse is present.

But your in a different situation being married to a man who is not the Childs father and whom you are not in love with. I would say that you need to let this man go; his loyalty to you and the child is admirable and I can certainly see why he wants to be a man about the situation, especially if he feels you do love and care for him back. But if you truly don’t love him than you need to set him free.

Your monitory situation shouldn’t really be a factory here; you made your mistakes and you need to live with the consequences; you shouldn’t use another individual so that you don’t have to feel the full weight of your consequences that simply isn’t fare to that person. Also it probably the case that you already know this and are using the idea that he wants to be with you as a justification for your actions … you shouldn’t do that as it is not justification for using someone. If he loves you and assumes you love him back, or if you lead him on to believe you might love him in the future with no guaranty, than he is not making decisions that are best for him knowing all the facts.

As for the biological father it is him that you should be shifting 50% of the burden for your mistakes on. He should be the one to deal with the consequences of the actions you both took, not this other guy who seems to be a rather nice person for being willing to share your burden though he doesn’t have to. You should seek full child support as vigorously and viscously as you possibly can.

Your are at a defining moment in your life; choose to do the right thing and be a better person.

Help me with: According to recent polls that show Romney ahead amongst likely voters; a possibly outcome of the 2012 Presidential Election

just here for help 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour after post)

i think you are selfish… so selfish
you cheated on your bf… now he accepted to rise your child… the child you made by cheating and now just cuz you don’t have enough money, you are thinking what you need to do ???
just so selfish

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