It’s quite a long story but I’m going to try and shorten it up.
So it’s only been a month but me and him broke up. I’d already come out of a relationship a year ago that messed me up. I was very sad about the situation and I had a friend who we’ll call Bob for now. So Bob was there for me, I told him everything about the situation with my ex and he comforted me in the best way he could. I told him at first I didn’t want the relationship because I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to get hurt again.
I told him all this and he said he wouldn’t do that to me, he really wanted the relationship. He never stopped going for it. So I gave in because he was a good guy and I really didn’t want my ex to get in the way of something that could potentially be something good.
I don’t want to take all the blame for everything that happened but I was miserable. Not because of him but because I just like to moan at every last thing. I don’t know why I do it but I allow things to get to me when they shouldn’t. This of course ruined a lot of the times we spent together because we rarely went out without me having an issue about something he was doing. I always had my guard up to protect myself from being hurt. He complained I wasn’t affectionate and I knew that was true but again I was scared to be affectionate towards him just in case. Now I’m his first girlfriend.
Anyway a recent example of me being a miserable b***h was this past weekend. We were together and he wanted us to do something on Sunday because it was going to be a nice day. I said no, for no good reason. I just said no. Well I noticed something was up with him so I text him and said to give him his space and that I know he’s not happy etc.
He had me waiting for a very long time before we finally spoke about it. I went to his house and we discussed things but I didn’t say anything I just mainly agreed with everything. I wasn’t prepared so I went back there yesterday and said my piece.
I basically said that I do want the relationship and that we’re breaking up over petty things but if he’s not ready then there’s nothing I can do about it.
He was beating around the bush trying not to answer straight away but I deserve to know so I just pushed him to answer. He said that there’s a part of him that wants it because I’m a good girl and that’s hard to find but there’s a part of him that doesn’t want it. It’s only been a month, this is something that can be worked through but I don’t want to push him.
When he said that I got up and left and just walked out.
I’m angry with myself and him. I never wanted it in the first place but I gave in. I’m angry at him because he knew everything I went through and he promised not to do the same thing to me that my ex did. I’ve woken up today thinking that I want to fight for this but is there any point. I hate giving up on things I care about. He didn’t want to give me a definitive answer at the time and he wanted more time to think. He was a good boyfriend, he looked after me, he wanted to be affectionate and everything but I pushed him away a lot of the time. I told him I could be difficult and he said that was fine because so could he. I grew to like him and we have known each other for 2 years. I’m going to miss our conversations and everything we had as friends. I don’t know what to do. I know some people will say leave him but I just don’t believe that decisions like this can be made so soon. I made mistakes in the relationship by not appreciating him and it took this to open my eyes. I just wish I had another chance to work things out
This open post was written 11 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 396, 1, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
Reciprocity (0) 
Since writing this post Pac's Queen may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Pac's Queen is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 5 months and has 77 posts and 400 replies to their name.
Replies (1)
Where were you?
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Sparrowhawk
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.