morning help: I need help I was almost raped…….. - Help.com

First of all, I’m sorry you had to go through that. This kind of stuff is tough to deal with, and I know from personal experience.

Here are my answers to your questions. I’m no expert but I think I can help somewhat:

1. Most people would probably say your still a virgin because your cherry didn’t pop. And it probably didn’t pop because he didn’t stick it in. However, since he stuck it in your butt… not so sure about that one. I have personal beliefs when it comes to virginity, that even any kind of “playing around” counts as sex and you lose your virginity, or at least your innocence, because of that. But this isn’t about me, is it? Sorry :P

2. I know you could still get an STD from it being stuck in your butt, but when it comes to getting pregnant.. the only way for that to occur is if he ejaculated at all without the condom on and it happened to go into your vagina.

3. In my opinion, that would count as rape.

4. Most pharmacies have morning-after pills that you can get for about $30-$40 at the most.

5. As for hotlines and such, I’d suggest either a local crisis line or this sexual assault hotline.. wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. 1.800.656.HOPE And here’s the website where I found it–> http://www.rainn.org/

One more thing, now that you know somewhat what it’s like to have sex (even if it wasn’t really “sex”), that urge may be more intense for a while. At least for me it was, and it’s very hard to control.

And I would suggest telling your parents, as hard as that might be. When I had sex without my mom knowing, I told her immediately the day after even though I didn’t want to.. trust me, it’s much easier to just tell them than to have them find out some other way later on. And it’s a tough burden to bear alone.

And if you feel like you can’t tell them, tell someone else you trust. A family member, friend, doctor, someone you know will listen to you and understand. Once again, I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I’ll be praying for you.

Good luck,
Alyssa

You are probably not pregnant if his semen didn’t go inside you. If you didn’t want to, then YES it is RAPE. But if you let him…
You are 17. This guy just TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU! You need to stay away from him…before he seriously rapes you and gets you pregnant. Not to mention, it isn’t safe. If he didn’t go inside you, then “technically” your still a virgin.

Did he cum when he went in the back door?

were I live Canada the age of consent is 16.

He asked you to have sex.You said yes.
That starts the process.
You gave him a bj.
He didn’t force you.
he wanted to go all the way.
You wanted to stop.
He pinned you down.
But he didn’t enter you.
Dosn’t look like rape to me.
Not very respectfull on his part.
But the fact he did stop means he thought about it and did the right thing.
Many guys have the belief that its manly to use some force.
Some women like it this way.
But he should have made that clear first and had you agree.
therefore he dosn’t look very safe to be with.

spiratec9 wrote:
Did he cum when he went in the back door?

If he did you should get the morning after pill.
Talk to a doctor.
Ask him if he came in the back door.

I re-read and you said “And it hurt like hell. I didn’t like it.”
What hurt like hell?
It shouldn’t hurt like hell.
If this was in the back door and it hurt like hell then
you must go see a doctor.It could be serious.
Never mind what anyone thinks your safety is what counts.

Yup, still a virgin.

Very slim chance, I wouldn’t bet on it.

Well, you did give him consent. You said yes to sex. It’s like getting on a roller coaster, and saying no and trying to get out of the car after you’ve been locked in and strapped to your seat and the ride has begun.

Lots of ways as stated already above, but I don’t think you should be afraid of seeing a doctor.

Not familiar with any hotlines, but we’re always here to help. :)

If virginity is purely a physical thing and nothing more, than yes, you’re still a virgin.

I don’t believe virginity is a purely physical thing. If you were with another man later, and he asked you if you were a virgin, he’s not asking you if your cherry popped. He’s asking you if you’ve been with another man.

You have been. There is no other honest answer.

What he did was not rape. It may very well have been poor judgment, both on his part and on yours.

Don’t be afraid of seeing a doctor. STDs can spread without penetration, especially when penile tissue and vaginal tissue connect.

Yes, it’s possible to get pregnant, if he ejaculated inside you.

Here’s the takeaway from all this: casual sex without a long-term committed relationship (like marriage for example) is far more often a psychologically distressing thing after the fact than an event which brings two people closer together.

Sex is a strengthener for a long-term relationship, not a catalyst to create one.

don’t agree to sex if you don’t want to have sex. i don’t see how this would be rape. you asked for sex, got naked, got each other aroused, decided not to go all the way, so you didn’t go all the way. make your intentions clear before and during your sexual acts, or stay away from sex if that’s too much pressure.

Hi,

Firstly, you’re 17. You may feel old and wise but compared to most of us on this site you are very young. I would say you are not a virgin. You have had sex - anal sex, that means you have given a personal part of yourself to someone else. I agree with Michael J, if your future husband asked if you were a virgin, he’s asking you if you have had sex with someone else. You have, therefore you are not innocent. To put it into context - 2 women who have oral sex/anal sex/vaginal sex using fingers - are they virgins forever more? No of course not.
I’m worried about the anal sex part - regular anal sex can damage the rectum and leave you incontinent. Alot of homosexual men use tampons in that area for that very reason. The rectum is extremely delicate and anal sex puts one at great risk. I understand why you did it - because you want to keep the cherry popping for someone whom you love, but you are already treating love making as sex (no emotional attachment just physical pleasure.) As for that guy, what guy invites a girl round, asks for sex, has oral relief, commits buggery and then wants to force his way in the vagina? A jerk and a perv with no respect for women. See you doctor or go to a drop in clinic and get your worries off your chest and get the help you want. THEN get a new mobile number and drop the guy. If all he thinks you are good enough for is sex I doubt this has been an intimate affair between you and him.
Walk away NOW and don’t have any contact with him or his friends. The first response from Lush’ bar for the virgiity question, I agree with 100%.
By the way, I’m genuinely sorry you had such a bad experience. You will get through it, be strong, and learn from it xxx