This is a rather straight forward problem - I fear I’m developing feelings for one of my friends.
Not just any friend, but my female best friend.
We go pretty far back, I’ve known her since pre-school, and when I moved overseas, she moved a couple years after, and we attended the same school. My family is well acquainted with hers.
I value the friendship a lot, and we’re quite familiar with each other. And recently, she had a breakup with her boyfriend of maybe a month - and she’s only ever had two. Both lasted less than a month.
After the breakup, she spent a lot of time with me. In the beginning, I thought she was using me as a sorts of rebound, and I allowed it, and I had no feelings for her at the time. I felt like if I was there, I could help her out a bit.
It was stuff such as making excuses to sit next to me, randomly hugging me, putting her head on my shoulder when on the bus or watching a movie (with a group of friends). And admist all of that, I guess, I started wondering if she was actually considering me or something. At this time, I still had no interest in her.
It took one of my friends to suggest getting together with her. He pointed out that she was a wonderful girl, and single, and asked me to consider the following: if I weren’t such good friends with her, would I date her?
I considered that, and grudgingly admitted that I would probably date her. Then he told me that I ought to go for it. I was mortified, and told him I would think about it. But I really did not think it was possible.
But I suspect this friend of mines is trying to set me up with her. He talks to her a lot as well, and after they talked, she asked me a really awkward question - she asked me if I found her attractive. It caught me completely off guard.
I’ll admit that she wasn’t all that bad - and I told her I did. No point lying, but this was a new point in our friendship, I never discussed how I actually thought about her before. And I guess that’s when it started.
Now I’m overly stuck. Not sure what to do. For the moment, I’m happy to let things stew while I think it over, but I know that while this is in my brain, I won’t be able to have any rest.
Could I please have some advice on how to maneuver in this situation? And although I’m pretty sure that she is hinting at more than a friendship, could this just be an after-effect of her breakup?
Since writing this post Shigaku may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Shigaku is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 1 month and has 150 posts and 747 replies to their name.
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