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I’M NOT CRAZY..but i am on the brink of insanity.
i have hypo active thyroid. i’ve been 6 months without my meds.- levothyroxine aka synthroid. NO MEDS can cause me to have a mood swing or 2, but no major battles with sanity. i just started back on my meds about a week ago..yaaay insurance. I’ve been having trouble with depression for the last year..alot in the last few months, a new thing for me, never really had this problem before. usually considered a “happy” person. my husband keeps calling me crazy cause i end up in tears or pissed off at the mean things i use to let him get away with. now i call him on it and he acts like i’m crazy..and tells me i am…and tells me to go pop a pill, or calls me a crazy bi%ch. i tell him he’s hurting me when he does it..i tell him about the suicidal thoughts, about how the only thing stopping me is the kids and my fear of burning eternally, but he still does it. even laughs at me and taunts me while i’m on the brink of loosing it.then a few minutes afterwards he gets real sweet…overly kind and wants me to be receptive and just put it behind me, and if i don’t he gets real nasty and mean, real real fast all over again, so i pretend to be fine or i risk getting yelled at some more. the funny thing is he paints me to be the a$$hole, cause i don’t want to be cool with him 5 mins after his wrath, after being called a kunt or a crazy bi%ch or any other choice words/phrases he picks to describe me. sometimes i say foul things back..sometimes i don’t. BUT I NEVER expect him to be okay with it with in a few moments..and **** sure don’t lash out at him for not being cool about it 5 mins later. Now i’m starting to feel like a crazy person. what can i do? my tears are welling up typing about it and i just don’t know how to escape it!!!! desperately want to feel better
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