I’m doing it again.
I’m up at 3 AM, reading stories about women who had abortions. I have no idea what possessed me to do this. I know that it just upsets me when I read stuff like that, yet I still do this.
I was supposed to be asleep hours ago. I don’t even know how I’ll stay up tomorrow.
I guess I just wanted to know if anyone has any advice as to how I can stop thinking about this. I really need sleep. I’ve already taken two sleeping pills, and I’m considering taking more.
Yes, I know it’s none of my business that those women did that, but that doesn’t make my heart hurt any less. It feels like someone set my heart on fire.
I keep trying to just tell myself that when I am a mom, I’ll be far more loving and caring than those women. But that doesn’t help.
I am actually almost jealous of those women who aborted and don’t even care. I wish I didn’t care about anyone but myself. Even if I couldn’t care about myself, that’s fine too.
Anyway, how can I just make myself calm down and stop thinking? Are there any pills I can take? I just want something quick. I have to wake up in a few hours.
Stress-free answers only please. As in, don’t just tell me that it’s none of my business or anything along the lines of that. It’s not helpful at all.
Since writing this post MelanieDi may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. MelanieDi is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 1 month and has 17 posts and 66 replies to their name.
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