boyfriend help: Im not sure if my boyfriend is being selfish or if its just me. - Help.com

He’s selfish. Tell him how you feel. That’s rude. You’re even saving up for holiday vacation! Get a better boy.

Go on holiday without him and meet someone new. Sorry Freddie Freeloader, the train stops here. No more free ride.

Agreed.

sorry you’re sick, sorry your boyfriend really don’t care about you, yes he is selfish and inconsiderate - you picked him. He’s only sticking around cause you pay for things that you think you both should do, and so he goes along. Duh, get real. While you’re trying to get better, please think about being smarter. If he’s best friends with your ex, your ex has told him all the ways to get what he needs outta you without really trying - heal yourself from this whole situation. This is your wake up call. He’s so not the only guy in the world

While i understand completely what you’re saying, this isn’t his ‘normal’ behaviour its only been in the last 6-7 months as we have been dating for 5 years. Also my relationship with my ex was completely different as i was quite young at the time and it didnt last very long. Up until the last 6/7 months he was always caring and coming to see me and making an effort. But I feel that somethings happened that he doesnt want to tell me, I always ask whats wrong but he always says nothing and avoids the subject. Before jumping to quick decisions i want to know if there is anything i can do that might shed some light or give me some idea of whats going on in his head. He doesn’t like to talk about emotions or feelings. I’ve only ever seen him cry once and he refuses to talk about it.

I would use your observations to have a calm, non-accusatory conversation with him. Tell him what you have observed him do (not spending time with you when you need it, complain about plans you make and are excited about for the two of you), and let him know how it makes you feel. Tell him that you care about him and value the relationship, but you’ve observed that for the past 6 months he has not been acting like he also cares about you and values the relationship. Let him know that you are wondering if something has happened, and if he is going through something that you can help him with. Six months is a long time for things to be off with a partner without them sharing, and so you are not “over-reacting” or being unreasonable. You are showing that you care about him and respect and value yourself and the relationship.

If he is unwilling to engage in an open and honest conversation, and honor the love you have shared over the past five years, then it might be time to end things with him. Open communication is key to a strong relationship, and if he has shut that down then you do not have a lot of options. I understand how difficult this must be for you, and I wish you the best of luck.

anon above has good info, however, you’re covering for him, aww it’s only been in the last 6,7 months, huh? that’s not long enuf for you? you wanna try 6,7 years and then hear i never really loved you, you were just cool, oh well, sometimes things change in those years together - people grow and branch out differently - not to meant to hurt your feelings, just there’s need to explore - we as women hang on too long, hoping the initial spark comes back just cause we put in time, it doesn’t, it turns into pity from the other