Ok, life story: my parents are not even good people, let alone parents.
Mother: psychopath, no joke. Incredibly smart, but has absolutely no morals. No care for those she hurts.
Father: emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive. Never takes responsibilty for what he has done to hurt others. It’s always someone else’s fault.
My parents are very similar, I guess. I haven’t spoken to my mother since 2007. Not one word.
Initially, I thought this was good and right. My father told such horrible stories of her… Now, as he is going through his second divorce, I’m finally seeing what he said were lies. My exstepmom isn’t a bad person. She certainly isn’t the best, being abusive herself, but my father lies about her a lot. She’s always the root of all his problems.
Well, how this pertains to me: my father is turning his emotional bullying onto me. That is why his ex left. She could not handle being told she’s ugly every day of her life…
And now I’m the one being told I’m ugly and fat. My senior prom was a disaster because of that. It’s hard… I know I shouldn’t believe him, but he’s the only one saying anything. Pretty much everyone else in my life has left me. All I see are his judging eyes.
All through high school I have been the third wheel. Never been on a date, had a bf, any of that. Heck, no one even asked me to dance at the dances. My friends all broke away with their bf or gf and never really came back. So by the end of high school I ended up alone with no one to turn to for understanding.
So now here I am: an eighteen year old with nothing going for her. My mother abandoned me when I was six, my father beats on me verbally every day, and all my friends have forgotten about me. I try to make new friends, but I’m uber shy. The only person I can speak to without stuttering is my autistic brother. And I can’t say anything to him about my issues with our father. My father is always kind and nice when he’s around.
So now you understand my problem. I’ve tried to contact my mother to no avail. I’m flat broke, or I’d have moved out a while ago. I have no friends I could move in with, either. I do have the church, but as I mentioned with my brother, he doesn’t show his nasty side to others. Everyone is on his side about this.
Well, thanks for reading my rant. It really just helps to get it out there.
Since writing this post Berepa may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Berepa is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 1 month and has 2 posts and 1 replies to their name.
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