friends help: Ok, life story: my parents are not even good people, let alone parents. - Help.com

Ok, life story: my parents are not even good people, let alone parents.

Mother: psychopath, no joke. Incredibly smart, but has absolutely no morals. No care for those she hurts.
Father: emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive. Never takes responsibilty for what he has done to hurt others. It’s always someone else’s fault.
My parents are very similar, I guess. I haven’t spoken to my mother since 2007. Not one word.
Initially, I thought this was good and right. My father told such horrible stories of her… Now, as he is going through his second divorce, I’m finally seeing what he said were lies. My exstepmom isn’t a bad person. She certainly isn’t the best, being abusive herself, but my father lies about her a lot. She’s always the root of all his problems.
Well, how this pertains to me: my father is turning his emotional bullying onto me. That is why his ex left. She could not handle being told she’s ugly every day of her life…
And now I’m the one being told I’m ugly and fat. My senior prom was a disaster because of that. It’s hard… I know I shouldn’t believe him, but he’s the only one saying anything. Pretty much everyone else in my life has left me. All I see are his judging eyes.
All through high school I have been the third wheel. Never been on a date, had a bf, any of that. Heck, no one even asked me to dance at the dances. My friends all broke away with their bf or gf and never really came back. So by the end of high school I ended up alone with no one to turn to for understanding.
So now here I am: an eighteen year old with nothing going for her. My mother abandoned me when I was six, my father beats on me verbally every day, and all my friends have forgotten about me. I try to make new friends, but I’m uber shy. The only person I can speak to without stuttering is my autistic brother. And I can’t say anything to him about my issues with our father. My father is always kind and nice when he’s around.
So now you understand my problem. I’ve tried to contact my mother to no avail. I’m flat broke, or I’d have moved out a while ago. I have no friends I could move in with, either. I do have the church, but as I mentioned with my brother, he doesn’t show his nasty side to others. Everyone is on his side about this.
Well, thanks for reading my rant. It really just helps to get it out there.

This open post was written 11 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 401, 7, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Berepa may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Berepa is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 1 month and has 2 posts and 1 replies to their name.

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High school, Every Day, friends, Person, mother, school, father, dance, Side, ugly (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (7)

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Dragon_Lady offline Verified User (5 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

You need to get some counseling to help you put all that behind you.

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Help me with: Thanks, everyone, for the help yesterday!
Berepa offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 29 minutes after post)

Yes, I’ve considered that many times. Even tried it. It’s so hard, though. Talking to this person face to face. As soon as I get in there, I shut down. I do that with everyone. Tell them what they want to hear, not what I’m really feeling. I down play and undermine my feelings. I’ve tried so hard to not to… I get all queasy and am unable to speak when I try, though. :p

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Angie. offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 175 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 37 minutes after post)

There is a great saying”you can choose your friends but you cant choose your family”
Your Father sounds a very nasty man.Hes a bully. Bullys tend to physically &mentally abuse others as a way of detracting attention away from themselves.
Some parents find it incredibly hard to love their children,Im not making excuses for them Im just saying this isnt your fault.

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Dragon_Lady offline Verified User (5 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (3 hours, 10 minutes after post)

Berepa wrote:
Yes, I’ve considered that many times. Even tried it. It’s so hard, though. Talking to this person face to face. As soon as I get in there, I shut down. I do that with everyone. Tell them what they want to hear, not what I’m really feeling. I down play and undermine my feelings. I’ve tried so hard to not to… I get all queasy and am unable to speak when I try, though. :p

Yes; I understand.

A good way to help bring those feelings under control is to keep a journal. Buy a nice one that you like and a few cheap art supplies, vow never to let anyone see it, and just start writing, drawing, or gluing stuff in. Don’t worry about making sense or being ‘artistic’ or pretty. Just start getting some of those feelings OUT, so that later it’s a bit easier to talk about.

And give counseling time. All those bad things didn’t happen in a few weeks, and it takes time to start folding them up and putting them away. Just be kind to yourself, forgive your self for your own mistakes, and start letting someone help you build a new future.

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Help me with: Thanks, everyone, for the help yesterday!
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phoenix.j.ryde offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months, 2 weeks ago (7 hours, 49 minutes after post)

I could somehow relate. I do once felt like an outcast, like I don’t belong and I’ve always hated my parents.

But you know what, the best thing that I can learn from my parents is NEVER EVER TO BE LIKE THEM, EVER!

You can be better than them, you are better than them. Don’t let them ruin your self-esteem and your future.

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blazemister6 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (1 week, 3 days after post)

I can some how relate

After I was about 4 My mother left and stayed gone for days or week at a time and always came home sick. This keep happening tell I was 13. I later found out she was abusing coke, And now she spends every day except the weekends at the hospital getting treatments for the damage she has done to her self. My father was always mad, Yelling at me Calling me fat, Telling me I’m useless and never could amount to anything. That I should give up once my parents are gone ….. He always came home from work mad And if i told him to stop slamming he would hit me. He had a father that overdosed on heroin, So I should be grateful to even have a father …

This hurt me so bad you could not believe …. I went threw this all my kid ages.
I use to beg my mom to stay home just so I have some one nice to be around, I had no friends in school, Never had a girl friend.

As years went by I hit 14 ~ 15 the abuse has stopped but still overwhelmed from thinking of my childhood, I went threw a very bad depression. I dropped out of school even tried to shoot my self with a shotgun my grandfather gave me for my 15th birthday. I pulled threw this and act as that part of my life is in the past, Even tho Im very depressed now, I cant get that low again.

Now I’m 16, Turning 17 in august. I’m going attempt to go back to school, As a 10th grader. I’m still very shy and get a pain in my chest being around girls because of the years I spent alone (dropping out of school). I did make 3 friends during the time I dropped out and spent allot of time going to there houses and played xbox 360. This helped pull threw the worst part of my depression.

My mother now try’s to make up for my younger years taking me out to places, Just the other I got complimented by 3 girls my age while I was getting my hair cut. Then the chick cutting my hair started hitting on me, But I got quiet as this was new to me. I still put my self down, Thinking I’m fat/ugly But I’m not. I don’t do this on purpose it just happens and I’ve tried so hard not to. But my mind thinks without my control :/

I’ve never told this story in my life to any one, It does help to get it out there tho :). I feel better about it already.

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