boyfriend help: my boyfriend has a house from his divorce and wants to move in and wants me to move in with him. - Help.com

keep telling yourself its just a house because it is just a house

If it is nicer than where you are staying it is great. I have never had problems with what happened in a house before I moved in. People have died in my house but really who the crap cares? It is just a brick building and we have made happy memories here. That is all that counts.

Tim-Bob wrote:
If it is nicer than where you are staying it is great. I have never had problems with what happened in a house before I moved in. People have died in my house but really who the crap cares? It is just a brick building and we have made happy memories here. That is all that counts.

Tim-Bob is a philosopher and often right. If you can, get someone from the Church to go into every room and bless each with love. Bless your entrance, your comings and going, your bedroom so you are safe when asleep and awake, go through every room and pray for peace, love, harmony, forgiveness and understanding and then sing a hymn at the end. Do this ritual weekly for around 6 months. Paint every room with colours that reflect the feelings that is needed in them e.g. green for health, pink for calm, blue for serenity, etc., make new curtains, put YOUR identity into it. This is your home. You are the mistress of this house. Nobody else. Take a feminine pride in it.

Remember, this is your new home so do it slowly and get to love it and allow it to love you. You live in the present and always will so accept this home into your life and bless it for giving you and your children protection, warmth. And thank God for giving a home that mets your need and allows all of your to grow. Thank God for all your beautiful children who love you and a wonderful man that you love and his glorious children. Can’t you see you are truly blessed? Be positive about it and it will be positive about you. Yes there will be upsets in the future, that’s what makes live move on but go forward into it with optimism. I can see no negatives in it. I have spent ages making my home mine and it is fulfilling activity. Good luck with everything.

I can totally relate to your situation. Sometimes we just feel insecure because we got no clue what exactly our partner’s feelings are like. We are afraid that an object that he and his ex have shared before, might bring up the past memories and re-ignite the past feelings he had for his ex. However, since you two are in the process of settling down together and your kids have adapted well to the new environment and new family, you have to strengthen your willpower and cleanse your mind off the negativity. You need to keep reminding yourself that your boyfriend has chosen you as his new life and you should give him a chance to prove himself. Trust in a relationship is really crucial and keeps the relationship really strong for long.

Flying_Blue wrote:
it will not matter because he will nevr understand me. no one will ever understand me. i have mental issues that i deal with on my own because i have NO ONE to help except paid help. i need more help from my loved ones but no one understands. they all say “its not that bad” “you have nothing to be depressed about” “get over it, move on” “shut up all ready” “stop talking crap about yourself” “its all in your head control yourself” “you are a mom u don’t need to be this way”
im done with everyone. if i die then i die !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you die, you will regret it. You need to talk to sensible people who understand that what you are saying IS significant and you need to be talking to sensible people who are professionals and know how to help you deal with it. With the right care, you will find it SO EASY to cope, once the formula for you is found out. Be patient, try new things, diet, exercise, therapies, medication, counselling, find the solution. You have the power to find it and look upon now and finding the solution as the quest and after you have the solution, and know what you need to do, you will be living the life you were meant to and will never feel this way.

I am sorry he doesn’t understand you are ill and in need of support. I hope you can find the help you need and keep looking for solutions.

I suggest you do a new post to get others involved in this so that they can offer support. Please do that, there are many on this site who can offer the wealth of their knowlege.