relationship help: Will people please advise me to the best course of action to deal with the guy in the chat dialog below? - Help.com

Will people please advise me to the best course of action to deal with the guy in the chat dialog below?

We have been dating for a few months and it had been a bit up and down as he has a lot going on in his life right now. I really like him but hes been hot and cold - a lot probably due to his situation. What advice do you have that I can do to make him fall head over heals for me, forget his exgf (who he speaks of but had a bad relationship with) and see that I am a great thing to have in his life - make him want, need, crave me… (i know the chat below is vague, but give your best thoughts please) :)

him: whats on your mind?
me: life i guess…work, dog, you…
him: oh, don’t waste your thoughts on me. I’m dead weight until i get a new job
me: dont be negative…why would you say that -
him: because i feel my life is so unstable need to focus. should have applied to many more jobs
I’m in a bad situation
me: i understand to the extent that i can, but your situation is transient not who you are
Sent at 11:04 AM on Friday
him: i guess

This open post was written 11 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 401, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post lilac_lim may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. lilac_lim is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 3 months and has 29 posts and 2 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

relationship, Right Now, Situation, Right Now, negative, months, dialog, Action, dating, Weight (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (2)

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Anonymous #
11 months, 1 week ago (17 minutes after post)

You should probably have told him he wasn’t a dead weight. Tell him what he means to you, make him feel important. Don’t just tell him not to be negative; that’s not convincing.

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Anonymous #
11 months, 1 week ago (24 minutes after post)

sounds like a smart guy realizing where he’s at right now and hoping to take the steps to get better - a girlfriend is not what he needs right now, is what he’s saying, specially when he’s inbetween his last relationship - you need to just be a friend right now, someone he can chat with, instead of all that lovey dovey i’m falling for you stuff - it really doesn’t help. In fact, it may turn him off if he sees you headed that way - he’s got real issues to deal with right now, a new relationship is not one … back off on the romantic and just be there for encouragement, laughter, someone to talk to - if you push, you lose

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