relationship help: Oppressive, obsessive, controlling, manipulative girlfriend. - Help.com

Oppressive, obsessive, controlling, manipulative girlfriend.

This is going to be a little bit long and for this I apologize.

I have been dating a girl for a little over 2 years. We lived separately at first of course. At first things were great, and I found I enjoyed so much time with her. We spent almost every day together and it never felt like enough, I always invited her with me and my friends even. Never needed space, and she never had enough time with me either. Then finally things started changing due to the fact I found old feelings for an old friend that I had never gotten to explore said feelings with, and then coming to find she had the feelings all along too it turned into a catastrophe. I now regret it for several reasons, all reasonable. Well during this escapade with the other girl (I never actually cheated, we just talked in a way we shouldn’t have) I got sick of everything about the girl I was dating. The way she talked, the way she loved me, the way she did anything. Well, I’ve come to realize I made a monster out of her. First I made her think that there would never come a day I wouldn’t want every second of the day together, second I gave her reason to never want me to be away from her for fear that something would happen. That was about 7 months in. The entire rest of the relationship has been hell. She’d want to make a plan, and just so we’d be clear on when it was going to be so I could be ready, I’d ask what time. She wouldn’t know, so I’d say we can’t have a plan without a time. Then she goes and starts ranting about how she’s my girlfriend and she shouldn’t need a time, she expected the whole day to just us as usual, when I had already made plans for other points in the day, and she expected me to drop those immediately. Another aspect is that she had a job 30 miles away that she took in this time, but she had NO drivers license, NO car, and refused to get either! And I had nothing to do in this town 30 miles away, so I had to use my money for probably 2 months, to drive her there, then I’d drive back home, have to go get her and bring her back home. Finally we had a fight and I said I would not bring her to work if she didn’t pay for her own gas she wasn’t going to work in my vehicle. So now at this point she was spending all of her checks on gas. Well, finally after a lot of this and similar things happening, screaming matches all the time, I broke it off. I meant it to be permanent, I never wanted to have anything to do with her again, but the guilt finally ended up being unbearable. I finally got back together with her. Not too awful long after this, we got accepted into an apartment we had applied for the first time we were together in this town 30 miles away, and I accepted to live with her thinking her clingy oppressive nature at this point would cool down if we shared the same bed nearly every night. WRONG. She’s so much worse now. What’s worse is she’s pretty much adopted everything I brought as ours, such as the bed. So if I want to move out, I have the horrible guilt of taking her bed so I can have a bed. If I try to make plans for myself, even if I tell her ahead of time, she wants to go with. If there’s no room for her or she can’t go with, she begs and pleads and begs. If I continue to say no she goes into these psychopathic episodes where she’s bawling her eyes out screaming. Bottom line is she has problems and needs to grow up, but I can’t leave. I’ve tried and tried, and nothing is working. I leave and she involves her family and friends to all come tell me what a mistake I’ve made and give me dirty looks constantly and make snide comments. I’m so sick of all of this. Does anyone have any suggestions?

This open post was written 12 months ago | V/U/S: 809, 5, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

relationship, Catastrophe, first time, girlfriend, unbearable, Every Day, Permanent, This Time, Back Home, Happening, obsessive, psychotic (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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