relationship help: Confused, Unsure..I’m a mess…

Anonymous1794

Confused, Unsure..I’m a mess…

So i have been lonely for five months now, I’m not enjoying it all :/. I want some one to love and care for and make happy…but right now I’m not sure what’s going on. My thoughts are mess, i don’t know if it’s out of desperation or what, but everytime I talk to one of my ex’s i start to feel these feelings that I like them again or something..I don’t know. Like for example: Me and my recent ex dated for two and 1/2 years. It was a bumpy relationship where we both cheated on each other (not proud of that decision and definetly, never ever ever doing that again), we both argued non-stop..we were opposites. Anywho, for some reason I feel like i miss her, I know for a fact that she misses me too because she still has pics of me on her facebook and she keeps sharing photos on there that say “It hurts to realize that your not as important to somebody, as you once thought you were” ..or something like that. I’m not sure what to think right now. My heart and mind is a complete mess…I’m not sure what to think anymore…i’m not sure if i actually do miss my ex, I’m not sure if i’m ready for a relationship (even though I want one really bad)..I’m not sure what my problem is…sometimes I think it’s unfair. I try to be that perfect guyI try to be sensitive but yet tough, i try to be romantic, i try to be goofy, I try to make a girl feel good about herself, i try to respect a girl, i try listening, i try everything and it seems like I’m bein backfired, like no one wants me (yet). ..can some one help me please? I really need help with this, i hate bein lonely…and please dont tell me “give it time and you’ll find your girl”, I’ve heard this a thousand times over from all sides of my family and practically every one I know..I need new advice, i need something that I can actually consider that you put some thought into, please….(I’m not depressed or anything , I just hate being lonely)..

This open post was written 10 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 361, 4, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous1794 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Anonymous1794 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 2 months and has 24 posts and 55 replies to their name.

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relationship, Desperation, Never Ever, Right Now, Right Now, feelings, Facebook, Decision, Complete, Thought, lonely, confued (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (4)

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NaTcOMan 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 4 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

man up bro. its ova. sure be friends.. you oughta be looking for other prospects by now. if ur attempt to reunite is past chance, then ur back in the warzone. all fair in love n war.

Help me with: math puzzle here ..

TripleTT 48 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 4 weeks ago (51 minutes after post)

I’m 50 been married 16 years “divorced now” I have been in several long 2 to 4 year relationships as well…..and to be honest in all of them I still felt alone and sad. I’m not a depressed person one bit and feel good about myself and I’m not a needy person either just always felt alone. When I was not in a relationship I wanted one thinking it would help then when I was in one I still felt the same. I always felt like I needed someone to be fullfilled and not feel lonely.

Somehow all this has changed and its not being 50 that changed it….just this past year after my last relationship I was like darn here I go again. I to would think about my x’s and think will maybe their what I need again well this well that….then one day I thinking how I wanted to be content with myself, I wanted to not feel the need of wanting or needing someone in my life to feel complete and happy.

I decided finally after all my relationships and looking back there were a few that I would do differant and choosen to have stayed with them if I knew now what I didn’t know then…but ok they were over and I choosed to leave them in the past. So then by myself I decided hmmmm i should get out and meet someone new so I did and dated a few guys they were nice and all relationship material and thought ok I could pick one and have my so desired relationship statis again.

Then I got thinking more and thought why can’t I just be happy and content being single not forever but just for now…and focus on myself. Of course that lonely feeling jumps up and says oh no no you don’t want to be alone…then I was replying but yes yes I do….I seriously did I just was so use to always feeling I didn’t want to be alone and always felt a need to be in a relationship that it was just natural for me to feel I needed to be with someone.

I seriously thought about this and decided I would give it a try and just put in my head that I’m ok I’m single not looking and I’m ok…..it was kinda of a big deal for me to try and start thinking this way but I did and everyday the thought of geeez I need to get out and meet someone I would stop myself and say no no I don’t. Life can go on it’s not going to pass me by and I can have a relationship anytime I want “I have no problems meeting and dating” wow it was actually quite amazing when I one day no longer had to put those thoughts in my mind they were there natuarlly. It was almost like life tells us we need to have someone and not relizing there is a switch that can tell us no we don’t need someone right now and it’s ok! It’s ok and I’m fine with it!

Does this make sense? I have never tried explaining this one before but was what i thought of when I read your post.

I already know I’m going to meet a wonderful guy and this time I want it to be the last relationship! And when I decide I’m ready I know what to do and how to do it…But right now I’m ready to take all the time I need and want to enjoy and be content just being alone and not in a relationship….It is the most amazing feeling I have ever felt….I wake up go about my day do what I want when I want eat and cook what I want and with my free time its all about me….me myself and I….theres no decision to make theres no one I have to tend to or make happy it’s just me…..ok well there is Bella my dog and emily my cat and my 4 adult kids and my friends old and new friends….and then there is me…….

Feeling this way did not click over night it just came to me one day as a thought and I thought hey I will try this and each day I reminded myself what I was trying and would continue now it’s just natural to feel this way and I don’t feel lonely anymore I dont feel like I need a relationship I don’t feel like I need to be out there looking.

I am excited for the person I will meet one day but that day is not today or tommorow it is when I decide and I will and until then I’m enjoying my company and the person I am…….right now my focus is all on myself and what I want to do with my life then I will be ready that special someone who I can share my life with…..life no longer feels like it is passing me by and I’m missing out on anything…..it feels like I have control of my ship and right now I’m enjoying the sail……into new and exciting horizons.

I'm 50 been married 16 years "divorced now" I have been in several long 2 to 4 year relationships as well.....and to be honest in all of them I still felt alone and sad. I'm not a depressed person one bit and feel good about myself and I'm not a needy person either just always felt alone. When I was not in a relationship I wanted one thinking it would help then when I was in one I still felt the same. I always felt like I needed someone to be fullfilled and not feel lonely.

Somehow all this has changed and its not being 50 that changed it....just this past year after my last relationship I was like darn here I go again. I to would think about my x's and think will maybe their what I need again well this well that....then one day I thinking how I wanted to be content with myself, I wanted to not feel the need of wanting or needing someone in my life to feel complete and happy.

I decided finally after all my relationships and looking back there were a few that I would do differant and choosen to have stayed with them if I knew now what I didn't know then...but ok they were over and I choosed to leave them in the past. So then by myself I decided hmmmm i should get out and meet someone new so I did and dated a few guys they were nice and all relationship material and thought ok I could pick one and have my so desired relationship statis again.

Then I got thinking more and thought why can't I just be happy and content being single not forever but just for now...and focus on myself. Of course that lonely feeling jumps up and says oh no no you don't want to be alone...then I was replying but yes yes I do....I seriously did I just was so use to always feeling I didn't want to be alone and always felt a need to be in a relationship that it was just natural for me to feel I needed to be with someone.

I seriously thought about this and decided I would give it a try and just put in my head that I'm ok I'm single not looking and I'm ok.....it was kinda of a big deal for me to try and start thinking this way but I did and everyday the thought of geeez I need to get out and meet someone I would stop myself and say no no I don't. Life can go on it's not going to pass me by and I can have a relationship anytime I want "I have no problems meeting and dating" wow it was actually quite amazing when I one day no longer had to put those thoughts in my mind they were there natuarlly. It was almost like life tells us we need to have someone and not relizing there is a switch that can tell us no we don't need someone right now and it's ok! It's ok and I'm fine with it!

Does this make sense? I have never tried explaining this one before but was what i thought of when I read your post.

I already know I'm going to meet a wonderful guy and this time I want it to be the last relationship! And when I decide I'm ready I know what to do and how to do it...But right now I'm ready to take all the time I need and want to enjoy and be content just being alone and not in a relationship....It is the most amazing feeling I have ever felt....I wake up go about my day do what I want when I want eat and cook what I want and with my free time its all about me....me myself and I....theres no decision to make theres no one I have to tend to or make happy it's just me.....ok well there is Bella my dog and emily my cat and my 4 adult kids and my friends old and new friends....and then there is me.......

Feeling this way did not click over night it just came to me one day as a thought and I thought hey I will try this and each day I reminded myself what I was trying and would continue now it's just natural to feel this way and I don't feel lonely anymore I dont feel like I need a relationship I don't feel like I need to be out there looking.

I am excited for the person I will meet one day but that day is not today or tommorow it is when I decide and I will and until then I'm enjoying my company and the person I am.......right now my focus is all on myself and what I want to do with my life then I will be ready that special someone who I can share my life with.....life no longer feels like it is passing me by and I'm missing out on anything.....it feels like I have control of my ship and right now I'm enjoying the sail......into new and exciting horizons.

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