Love help: about to have a nervous breakdown - Help.com



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about to have a nervous breakdown

I have been in a very serious and amazing relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. We met when I was on vacation in Europe and fell instantly in love. Although I am from the USA, we have both been moving back and forth between continents and doing everything possible to be together for 3 years. We are extremely in love and I can think of no one I have ever known who I have been so close with.

The one downside to our relationship: he is 14 years older than me. I am 22 and he is 36. As he always looked younger than his age, I never really cared because our age difference was not that apparent and he is the best person I have ever met. Over the past couple of months, however, he seems to be rapidly aging and suddenly looks 20 years older than me. No one ever even noticed our age difference before but, in the past two months alone, two separate people have asked me if he was my father.

Even though he still treats me incredibly well and his personality makes me incredible happy, I am starting to go crazy.

One side of me loves him more than I know I will ever love anyone while the other side of me is scared to even look at him because I am afraid to see all of his new wrinkles.

One side of side of me knows that he is my soul mate, while the other side is questioning if I am capable of being with someone who suddenly looks 20 years older than me.

I love him SO MUCH but am left so confused and lost from his sudden change in appearance. WHAT SHOULD I DO???

This open post was written 11 months ago | V/U/S: 463, 5, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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relationship, difference, Suddenly, Person, months, older, Love, Side, met, age, Relationships, romance (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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nikkimarie5 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (24 minutes after post)

Stop being shallow. Which would you prefer–An insanely handsome chiseled man who cheats on you and treats you less than or a less than handsome man who treats you insanely well? The answer is obvious but youre still very young and whats important to you now, things such as looks, should be taken into consideration. He’ll only go downhill from here. True love is for better and for worse. Youre not going insane your just being 22. You should probably let go of the relationship–although you’ll regret it. Cuz youll find that looks arent that important but thats a lesson for when youre in your thirties. Good luck

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Tyffani_Raquel offline Verified User (11 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 303 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (45 minutes after post)

I agree…love involves the whole package….you can’t say you love him but don’t know if you can stay because he is looking different….love is supposed to be unconditional….it all comes down to you…who cares if others make comments…even if he didn’t look older people are going to talk…that’s what people do….its all about how YOU feel….do you love him (ALL of him) or do you have strong feelings but want to leave over a petty, shallow reason….it’s up to you….good luck

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Help me with: I think I’m developing insomnia…
blackdrummachin offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (59 minutes after post)

thank you so much you guys.. i don’t think there was ever a part of me that could leave him (because i DO love him A LOT) but just a part of me that was surprised and confused when confronted with this change.. you are right that I am still young and above all unexperienced with romance.. but that doesn’t mean I am doomed to make the wrong choice here. The more I think about it, the more obvious it is that leaving him would be a horrible mistake that I would never forgive myself for.. keeping this approach towards love would not only destroy the amazing relationship I have now but prevent me from ever having a truly healthy relationship in the future. its nice to hear such clear headed responses from you… I feel instantly better. thanks for this well-needed reality check!

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Tyffani_Raquel offline Verified User (11 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 303 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (1 hour, 6 minutes after post)

Glad to help…best of luck to you :)

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Help me with: I think I’m developing insomnia…
Casinocuttie3 offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (1 day after post)

If you love him, stay with him. It didnt bother you before. I know you have to be attracted to the person but sounds like you care with others think. I think its wrong that his age didnt bother you before but now hes getting older you want to bail. Is that fair? If it bothers you that much try to suggest some creams or whatever will benifit. Dont hurt his feelings though. If you truely love a person growing older shouldnt bother you. Wouldnt you want him to continue to love you?

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