I feel like I’m nearing the end of my rope.
I have been trying to do the right thing and take the high road, but it seems as though nothing is working for me.
10 years ago I started in an office job, and started experiencing immense low back pain. I was in school, and working full time to support my house hold, as well as try and make a future for myself. I stopped my schooling for the time, and tried seeing doctors for help with my issues. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and was given a variety of different drugs - none of which worked well enough to address my pain situations.
I continued to work for 5 more years, until I was in a job that allowed me a disability leave - but was then laid off in the middle of the Canada wide recession. I took some time to try and recover, by my family could not function on such a small income - so I went back to work. I was now back in a job full time, and JUST managing to funtion - wearing my body down, and trying to find a specialist who would/could help me.
I have seen pain management specialists, osteopaths,fitness trainers, nutritionists, have tried chiropractic care, cleanses, reiki, massage therapy, acupuncture, chakra balancing, physiotherapy, Active release therapy, aquatherapy, pyschotherapy, naturopathy, homeopathy, dry needling, applied kinesiology, mediation, deep breathing, traction, spinal decompression - all out of pocket.
I can’t get through a day where I can walk, sit, stand of lat down without pain. There is no relief unless I am asleep - and the pain keeps me from staying asleep without the use of drugs. If i DO use drugs to help with sleeping, I damage my organs and have gained much weight already from different pills (naproxen/naprosen, cyclobenzaprine, lyrica, vimovo, cymbalta, celebrex, percocet), I have been depressed - and now I’ve lost my job. I was not able to keep up to the demands of the role, and now I have no coverage at all - even though the coverage I did have from my job hardly covered the treatments I was pursuing.
On top of it, now we are losing our home. My mother was in a car accident, and is now off of work and on a car insurance benefit that does not offer enough money to carry our home. My brother is an apprentice in a trade, and the building he was working on is finished. This means the workers will be laid off, and he too will be left looking for a job.
This means all of use must now look for somewhere else to live.
I have been trying for months - over a year, to get some sort of government support. My family doctor is not willing to fill out the form until I have reports from specialists, where the wait time to see them is months long. Then, even with the diagnosis of fibromyalgia, because I can still feed and dress myself, I do not qualify as disabled enough to get disabiliy support, because I won’t lie about what I can and cannot do. Yes, I can bring a spoon to my mouth. Yes I can pull a shirt over my head… but I can’t walk down the street for too long, and I can’t lay down to even get 3 hours of sleep in a row, without the help of drugs that then keep me asleep in excess of 12 hours. I can’t sit of stand for longer than 10 minutes, and during that time I am in a large amount of discomfort, and cope by putting stress on bady parts that are now also feeling maxed out.
I just don’t know what to do.
I never thought to do something like this.
I never even knew there was a venue to use for this sort of thing. I HATE the idea of begging for money - but I just have no idea what else is left for me to do…and am desperate.
Please, somebody help me.
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