Feel help: Is 5 minutes of cuddling in the morning too much to ask for? - Help.com

I think you have a good point. Maybe the two of you should seek some counseling together?

Is 5 minutes of cuddling in the morning too much to ask for?

That question is definitely emotionally coercive, passive-aggressive emotional manipulation rather than a straightforward and respectful question or statement. I’m not criticizing, I only point this out because given the amount of words that follow, it seems like you probably want the relationship to be better rather than worse.

Actually I agree that question is terrible. I hate it when my DH asks me for anything in terms like that.

But I still think you have a point, and that the two of you need to work on it together.

Me & my bf have a similar issue in the morning.
He starts work at 7.00am, i finish work at 1.00 / 2.00 am, so when he gets up in the morning, considering ive only been asleep for a little while, he wants cuddles or more, now i don’t have to be up until about 9.00 & find it really unfair that he has to wake me up EVERY DAY for this reason.
On the weekends we cuddle a lot in bed in the morning, it’s the working days that p1ss me off.

On the odd day he doesn’t have to be up as early, when i do have to be, he wants me to come back to bed for cuddles just as im about to leave the house (this would make me late for work) all the rest of the time neither of has any issues about cuddles, it’s just in the morning.

Is this anything like your situation?
Do you get enough affection the rest of the time?

Maybe she has changed to accomodate you in her life, you’ve just not noticed?

Maybe she’s one of those people that wake up in the morning vibrating with energy and with her mind racing. Cuddling seems more of a relaxed ‘n kinda sleepy endeavor that she’d have to force herself to do at that time and, if it’s forced, it ain’t real; fake fails.

Big Willy! wrote:
Maybe she’s one of those people that wake up in the morning vibrating with energy and with her mind racing. Cuddling seems more of a relaxed ‘n kinda sleepy endeavor that she’d have to force herself to do at that time and, if it’s forced, it ain’t real; fake fails.

Agreed, cuddling is totally fitting to going to bed, but not everyone has the time for it in the morning.

I don’t think either of you are necessarily “wrong”.
I think you just need to find middle ground to make things work.

If she is a naturally unafectionate person, there isn’t much you can do about it, you can’t fourse her if it isn’t in her nature.

Women take longer to get ready than men, so even though you say she still had to wait half an hr, maybe that time was already allocated to something else - putting make up on, straightening hair etc.

Some people are just not morning people.
In the afternoon or evening, i’m all over my bf, but in the morning, i have no interest in it all.
My bf is a morning person, but he excepts that i am a total ***** some mornings, but he gets the affection other times so he can live with it, can you come to some sort of compramise like that?

You must of known she was like this from the beginning, it’s easy to tell that someones unaffectionate, if it isn’t something you can live with, then you probabally shouldn’t of got so involved with her in the first place, the fact you did shows there’s still something there, so you either have to learn to live with it, or walk away.

You have differing attitudes. It sounds like you are more emotional, affectionate and considerate than she is.

That won’t change - it is just they way you both are.

You need to decide whether it is a deal breaker for you, or not.