boyfriend help: Boyfriend advice…. - Help.com



This post left anonymously

Boyfriend advice…

.

Been with my bf for a year now and we’ve been living together for a few months. This is the longest I’ve been with anyone for quite a few years, since being single.

Everything was going perfectly, and I’ve been so happy. He kept saying how happy he was and recently, all he’s talked about is how he wants to get married and settle down with me, and how he wants to get engaged and how I should look at rings and let him know what I like.

So I got really excited. Anyway we had a serious convo the other day and he dropped in how it wouldn’t financially be sound for us to get engaged until about 2 years when we’ve finally saved enough for our first house together. I felt really gutted…like the wind had been knocked out of my sails. If it hadn’t been for how he kept saying all the time how he wanted to marry me etc, I wouldn’t have minded but I felt really upset that he was putting it all down to finances.

Anyway we had a huge argument, and he turned around and said that he was actually planning on a surprise proposal on my birthday, but that I’d ruined everything now. He also said he didn’t want to be backed into a corner and forced to propose to me…

That was almost two weeks ago and now…ever since, I feel like he’s been treating me different. I’ve tried to talk to him but he says everythings fine, but I don’t feel like it is. I feel like something has changed. He says it hasn’t….but I don’t know what to do now.

I really love him, and I value our relationship but it’s hard to describe…but I feel differently to how I did a few weeks ago. I feel like…things have changed. Maybe it’s just me but I really don’t know what to do now….

any advice?

This open post was written 10 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 309, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (10)

argument, Planning, birthday, Two weeks, boyfriend, Ever since, differently, relationship, proposal, surprise (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (2)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

ilivelife offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (21 minutes after post)

So are you saying that when he said you needed to wait 2 yrs before getting engaged, that was a cover for the fact that he wanted to spring a surprise proposal on you?

Or do you think he genuinely meant it, and then he said he was going to propose because you got upset and he was backtracking?

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: What is the best song to wake up to in the morning to get your day off to a good start?
lala21 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (29 minutes after post)

I really don’t know. I can’t understand why he would say all the stuff about me picking a ring if he wasn’t going to ask me for two years, but he seemed so certain when he said it, that I actually think he probably did mean two years.

Also, I’d always said that I was in no rush to get married or anything - he complained his ex wanted to get married and he didn’t (they were together for quite a few years, until she left him because he wouldn’t propose). I genuinely never have been someone to get excited, this is the first time in my life I’ve actually felt this way about getting married.

I said I don’t know how things have changed…but thinking about it…he’s not been as attentive. He’s been working late, working at home, going out more without me. He used to text me a lot during the day to check in on me and hasn’t…

i feel like…he was the one driving all of this and now i’ve said I want it, he’s backing off..

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.