Person help: Open letter to all girls. - Help.com

Girls don’t want a bad boy, that’s a bad misconception. Girl’s want a guy who won’t put them on a pedestal and make them feel appreciated. Lets face it, everyone feels good about doing something for someone they like or respect. Nice guys fail to add this one simple aspect, as they do EVERYTHING for the girl. It gets boring fast and doesn’t make them feel like they’re in a partnership. “Bad boys” accomplish this unintentionally by being disrespectful and not caring.

You didn’t step into the light, you simply found a different patch of shade that won’t get you any further.

Assertion.

Like most of us who are a bit timid you confused passivity for niceness and bad-boy attitude for assertiveness.

Women don’t like bad guys, women like assertive guys. That just often goes hand in hand.

Its easy to be nice, when you aren’t getting what you want. Its easy to be nice on the sidelines.

I want a guy whose going to treat me well, not some *******. I hate that guys think the only way to get a girl is to be a jerk. Maybe for some, but not all, in fact, barely any girl wants a bad boy.

I think girls think that the guys who are too nice to them are losers who can’t get a girl. When you treat them like crap they think “if only I could get him to love me I would be really special”… It is kind of like the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you always want what you can’t get.

Docteur Ralph is right. Girls’ predilection for bad boys causes a lot of “nice guys” to harden their hearts against the girls.

Yes, there is a price to be paid for the way girls treat the nice guys . . . and as our OP noted, this treatment turns the nice guys into not-so-nice guys. Then the girls wonder where all of the nice guys went . . .

well, i never wished for you, and you’ve made yourself less desirable to girls like me who respect themselves. but, good for you i guess. you get what you wished for, too. i suppose to you it’s better to get any girl you can rather than work to become desired by a truly equal partner.

I could be wrong, but it has always seemed to me that the guys who complain that the girls only like the jerks are really just jealous that girls like anyone other than them (who is obviously one of the good guys, probably the nicest guy around. Therefore the enemy of the bad guys who steal the affection of all the girls.)

It is possible to get along in antagonistic ways in intimate relationships but it’s healthier to be nice, kind, loving, etc.