Thought help: I am a 42 year old woman and seems I’m headed for a 3rd divorce.

msmary3129

I am a 42 year old woman and seems I’m headed for a 3rd divorce.

We have been together only 4 years. I have 2 daughters and a grandson that he is so close to.I thought in the begining we could work our diferences out such as religion upbringing of kids and so on. Also to mention he is a alcoholic which I feel I need to drink to put up with him which makes it even worse. I’m so lost as what to do because he always says how unloved and un apprecieated and so on and so on on how he feels. I’m so scared becaused each failed mairrage I jumped into anoyher right away so I’ve never been alone and never had to support my self so I’m scared and don’t know what I should do. My dad is also dieing from esophugus cancer which makes me feel like I’m losing my mind with all the stress. I’ve seriously contiplated suicide but I feel I couldn’t leave my kids alone like that. I just don’t know what to do. We can’t talk its always an argument or he storms out so nothings ever solved. I’m in a majoor state of depression and nobody really knows what’s going on because I feel foolish. Maybe someone out there is going through excactly what I’m going through

This open post was written 10 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 348, 5, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post msmary3129 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. msmary3129 is a verified member, has been around for 10 months, 4 weeks and has 1 posts and 1 replies to their name.

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Even Worse, depression, old woman, Out There, argument, religion, support, Thought, suicide, foolish (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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HelpBot 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 10 months, 4 weeks ago (0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

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turtledove24 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 4 weeks ago (56 minutes after post)

Did you ever love this guy? cause he sure doesn’t seem to love you back if you do. i’m not trying to sound mean, just honest. What do you think is better for you and your kids? and suicide definetly is not the answer

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monkichirmo 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 22 minutes after post)

are either of your kids still dependent on you? if they’re all grown up then it gets easier. why don’t you focus on you. YOU. the fact that you’ve never had to support yourself doesn’t mean you don’t have means…do you? if you feel like you have to sacrifice a decent relationship(at the least) for financial benefit then you’re really selling yourself short. unless you’re going into it knowing exactly what it is then well, that’s your choice. your kids should be able to understand and support you no matter what you decide.

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nolateri 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 45 minutes after post)

Im so sorry! If it’s ok can i ask a few question to better help me help you in your situation more on a finacial security basis first.

How old are your 2 daughters? Do they live with you and dependant on you? Do you work?

Now for the emotional state of being…I understand when you say you drink sometimes just to deal with him…as you know this is not healthy but understandable. Is he physically abusive? Or is the marriage just not working?

Being 42 does not mean your life is over and having 3 marriages fail is not the end of the rope either. Feeling dependant on men and relationships is probably the first place to start so you don’t go back into a relationship just for security.

To be 42 have children and grandchildren is a good place to start on living your life for yourself. You have obviously made the decision suicide is not the anserw.

What I would like is to learn more about you and help you get to a point in your life where you can be happy and dependant on your own. There is a freedom to accomplishing this and it is achievable if you are willing to take the steps to get there.

It sounds like you are ready for this but afraid to take that step…….once you do and learn to depend on yourself financially you will be more likely not to repeat your past mistakes or decisions based off your circumstances. I believe as we get older there are many things that become less important to us and differant things that become more important…like our sanity for one.

Have you made the final decision to leave and just getting things in order? I will check back and maybe we can connect here and I can help you in someway….sorry for the questions just felt they will give me a better picture………glad you posted here for some help lotsa good people here who care.

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msmary3129 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 4 weeks ago (7 hours, 8 minutes after post)

Thanks everyone for you replys. It helps because i dont really have anyone to discuss this matter. (Turtle dove)I did love him and still do. Its just that i dont want to hold him if hes that miserable. And my kids love him. They are 15 and 22. He is the only father figure in my 3 yr old grandsons life so of course i feel its best we try to keep it going for them. (monkichirmo)Both my kids are dependent on me. I work part time as a caretaker so that i can babysit for my grandson for my 22yrold whom both live with me. She works full time and is a full time student. Hopefuly this will pay off for her SOON so that she can be on her own. We both jumped into the relationship but we knew what we wanted and thought we both had it at that moment now he says im not like i was when we first got together. Of course! Niether is he. (nolater)As you see yes my kids are dependent on me. I do work as a nurse aid which i would never be able to support myself on let alone a family. As for the drinking i quit as of today because it fuels our frustrations and i feel its becoming a problem for me. I dont think i would say hes abusive although there are many times i throw my arms up for protection thinking he may try and hit me. When he gets angry he gets ANGRY. I am very scared if i leave or he does because i dont know where i would end up.Ive been on my own for short periods in my life and survived so i guess i could do it again. Im really going to try to make this work exspecially for my kids. I know the older one all ready thinks im a failure in mairage. Im trying really hard to keep it together for my kids and my own well being but its soooo hard. It seems theres a fight at least 2 -3 times a week and they last for days sometimes. Im hoping my not drinking will help. I feel like a weight has been lifted and thank you all…

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Thought help: I am a 42 year old woman and seems I’m headed for a 3rd divorce. - Help.com

I am a 42 year old woman and seems I’m headed for a 3rd divorce.

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