Love help: Messy, complicated situation. - Help.com

Do not move on to another relationship or hook up until you know for sure that’s what your intentions are. If the guy is immature who knows what will happen after you hook up with him. Keep hanging out but, keep your distance. Hope this helps…

I think you will be unhappy if you violate your boyfriend’s trust and make fraudulent the special bond that you have given reason for him to believe in by being his girlfriend. If you don’t feel that way, I can’t help thinking that you must be empty or very confused to be so cruel. This has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with consciously deciding not to screw over the people that love you in order to maintain your own happiness and sense of worth.

whatever you will do you will not be happy by breaking someone’s heart. And the way to do that is by betraying his trust. You say you love him, albeit not ‘in love’ with him, well then I’m assuming that he’s a good man. He deserves the respect of honesty. If you genuinely feel that you have irreconcilable differences, then tell him, but don’t let him believe he’s in an honest relationship with you.

I don’t believe that happiness is with this other guy, I think it may be a case of the grass is always greener, especially since you are having problems with you partner. Try to distance yourself from him, as he will skew the very important decision you have to make in regard to your relationship. I feel you owe it to the two of you to give it a shot, you say “I don’t think he is willing to put forth any effort in the situation”, but have you actually sat him down and told him your true feelings? That you think that things will likely not work between the two of you unless things start to change? It may have been that he had not realised how bad the situation had been.

Whatever you decide, and only you can know what to do. Please do not cheat on this man, nobody deserves that.

So here it is, my boyfriend does know how bad it’s been. I’ve tried talking to him about it a million times and it falls on deaf ears. I have tried to leave him on multiple occassions but it never sticks, I break down when he starts begging me not to leave BECAUSE I donot want to hurt him, I still care about him, but just can’t bring myself to leave him. I feel like I’m in limbo, I can’t see anyone else, but its like I’m not seeing anyone now, very rarely does my boyfriend want to see me, most of the time he’s just too busy, or doesn’t want to see me. I try spending time with him, but he treats me like I’m just a hobby, which is completely different than 5I years ago when we first began dating. If I thought my relationship was any where near ok, I wouldn’t even be considering this as an option, but after being treated like I’m not important for so long the affection I am getting for this other guy is not only welcomed but makes me feel like I’m not completely worthless. But then again I have been aroung this other guy may times before, but did not respond to his affections because I was happy in my relationship. I hope that clarifies the situation a bit.

5 years ago* and also the new guy has just slipt with his girlfriend, for whatever that is worth…

Breaking up is better than cheating.

Yes. Sorry there is no way you can justify it. It’s just wrong. If you want to leave you’ll have to make it clear that its over.