This post left anonymously
Messy, complicated situation.
I have been with my boyfriend for a number of years. I love him, but honestly am not “in love” with him. I wan to love him like I used to, but I don’t think he is willing to put forth any effort in the situation. Here’s the complicated part, I am slowly falling for another guy. He is a very close friend’s relative and a few years younger than I am. Also, he has a girlfriend. Whenever we hang out, at events or just with my friend, we flirt almost constantly. I can feel a chemistry with him that I have never felt with another person. When I think about him, I feel like I’m in love. I can’t help this tension that’s been building, but on the other hand I still really want to fix my long term relationship with my boyfriend. I feel like our relationship doesn’t make us happy anymore, but I feel unable to leave it because I don’t want to hurt him and frankly I don’t want to be alone. One the other hand, this younger guy is immature and ALREADY has a girlfriend, this being said, it doesn’t make me any less attracted to him, or his personality. My friend tells me we should just hook up and get it out of our system, then I can continue my relationship, and he his. I have no clue what to do… I know morally what people believe I should do, but aside from morals, because I’m not huge on the judeochristian moral laws, what should I do to achieve my maximum happiness? I don’t want to hurt the other people involved, but I do want to be happy… and most definitely do not want to stop hanging out with my friends relative. Should I just continue both relationships as they are? Has anyone ever been in this situation before?
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.