friends help: What do you do when the sight of someone makes you upset?

Kitty

What do you do when the sight of someone makes you upset?

I am at a school where we live and are not allowed to leave campus. I made the mistake of dating here and the break up was bad. Now I get angry and hurt again everytime I see him. The problem is, this isn’t a big place and he is outside ALL DAY, EVERYDAY. I have been stuck hiding out in my dorm for 2 weeks now. I have a laptop with a lot of anime and movies on it, but I miss going outside and walking around with my music in and seeing my friends, it feels really pathetic.

If I stay in here I don’t have to see him and I can feel all right (not great), if I go out there and try to ignore him, it dosn’t work. I hear his awful laughing and having a grand old time like he did from day 1 after he ended it (who acts that way after a break up if you really loved them?) and I’ll know he’s there and I will start to feel worse and worse. I just want to scream and yell and punch him in the face, make him suffer like he has made me. But obviously I can’t do that.

Anyway, I just want to know if there is a way, besides giving it time, because this is freaking pathetic, to make it so he dosn’t upset me. I loved him, I put eveything into this relationship emotionally, physically, and financially. He dosn’t even want to pay me back for the birthday present he borrowed my money to get me (I know, stupid. But I’m young and was sheltered so give me a break).

If anyone has any advice, I thank you kindly for it.

This open post was written 10 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 308, 15, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Kitty may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Kitty is not a verified member, has been around for 10 months, 3 weeks and has 3 posts and 20 replies to their name.

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relationship, Out There, Old Time, birthday, friends, Mistake, present, walking, scream, Suffer (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (15)

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ilivelife 11 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

I know it’s hard, but you just need to be brave, get out there, and get on with it.

It’s like aversion therapy…the more you see him, the less effect he will have on you as time goes on.

I dated a guy I worked with. When we split up, I had to sit in the same office as him from 9-5, Monday - Friday.

Just had to man up and deal with it!

Help me with: What is the best song to wake up to in the morning to get your day off to a good start?

Kitty #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

I am confused. Are you saying I should do aversion therapy or just make myself extremely miserable?

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ilivelife 11 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

Stop hiding away and get on with your life. You can’t avoid him forever - the sooner you start getting out there and facing him, the sooner you will get over it.

Help me with: What is the best song to wake up to in the morning to get your day off to a good start?

Kitty #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

ilivelife wrote:
Stop hiding away and get on with your life. You can’t avoid him forever - the sooner you start getting out there and facing him, the sooner you will get over it.

He’s already found a new girlfriend though (actually he was eyeing her before we even met!) and that makes it worse. We aren’t talking and I am so angry that I know talking isn’t a good idea. He stopped emailing me, probably because I was yelling at him. He is a manwh_re, I just want to scream that fact in his face that I would like to see swullen and bloody.

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Aeon 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

Everyone has a life to live- Go live yours also! Don’t let one guy keep you from enjoying each and every day; life is short, so enjoy each moment! One day, what he did to you will come back to haunt him, and he will be the one upset about what he did while you have the happiness that he can never take away. :)

Help me with: A few weeks ago, I started working on a new kind of idea…

Kitty #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (57 minutes after post)

Aeon wrote:
Everyone has a life to live- Go live yours also! Don’t let one guy keep you from enjoying each and every day; life is short, so enjoy each moment! One day, what he did to you will come back to haunt him, and he will be the one upset about what he did while you have the happiness that he can never take away. :)

Ha! I remember when I thought it was that simple.

Well guys, I just tired going outside. I walked around with my music in. He wa son his porch but I walked anyway. Now I am 10 times more upset than if I had just stayed inside. I didn’t have to feel this way today. This is the problem I am talking about! I wish I could control my emotions but I CAN’T. Everyone’s telling me to get over it but that’s like asking me to play catch with the Sun. I feel how I feel, but it’s keeping me locked up, I don’t know what to do!

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RaspberryUnicorn42 5 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 53 minutes after post)

I think just this: breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Deep, from your belly (put your hand on your belly and the other on your chest - make the one on your belly move and keep the chest one still). Like a baby. Just calm, in out, slowly. Don’t lock yourself up! That way lies depression!

Help me with: I just want to gush about my crush!

Kitty #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 39 minutes after post)

I’ve tried that… but my blood boils and my heart breaks all over again… I just don’t know..

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Always griffin 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 44 minutes after post)

Go outside, stand TALL, walk right by him don’t look, or look thru him
start talking to someone else when he’s around or getting close
Ask someone the time

Help me with: What I learned while I was away

Kitty #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 46 minutes after post)

griffin195 wrote:
Go outside, stand TALL, walk right by him don’t look, or look thru him
start talking to someone else when he’s around or getting close
Ask someone the time

And since that dosn’t work what should do?

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Always griffin 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 51 minutes after post)

just totally ignore him
it’s gonna take time but after a while he’ll stop

Help me with: What I learned while I was away

Aeon 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (3 hours, 24 minutes after post)

You could try writing down how you feel, put it in an envelope and burn it, or you could try walking around blindfolded

Help me with: A few weeks ago, I started working on a new kind of idea…

Kitty #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (3 hours, 48 minutes after post)

griffin195 wrote:
just totally ignore him
it’s gonna take time but after a while he’ll stop

He’s not doing anything, except being a manwh_re.

Aeon wrote:
You could try writing down how you feel, put it in an envelope and burn it, or you could try walking around blindfolded

I emailed him everything I felt already, he blew me off like a pusy.

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ilivelife 11 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (9 hours, 46 minutes after post)

I don’t think we can really help you any more.

You WILL get over him in time.

My Dad died recently, so my Mum lost her partner of 40 years. If she can get on with her life, I think you can too….

It is your choice whether you hide away from him while you get over him, or carry on with your life as normal while you get over him.

Help me with: What is the best song to wake up to in the morning to get your day off to a good start?

Kitty #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (12 hours after post)

I’m sorry to hear about your dad…

The problem is I can’t. I will actually start crying if I’m around him too long because the emotions just get worse and worse. It’s kind of hard to sit there and go on about normally with all of that going on.

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What do you do when the sight of someone makes you upset?

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