This post left anonymously
I’m tired of being me.
I’m sick of feeling sad all the time. I wish I could stop being so alone and feeling lost in life. I’m 26 years old, and I feel like I can’t make my own decisions.
It’s like I’m always living by someone else’s rules. My nagging parents keep telling what to do and how I should live my life. I hate it so much. My boss at work is an obnoxious dictator who makes you bow down and kiss her butt to be on her good side. If you’re on her bad side then you better be prepared to be punished until you obey.
I’m tired of always having to let go and give up on relationships. I’m always wrong about the girls I date. They’re either not interested in me or I wouldn’t have a shot with them in the first place.
I’m tired of not sleeping. I just lie awake sometimes 3 or 4 times a night even when I take sleep tablets. I’m tired of being a pessimist and tired of thinking negative thoughts.
I’m tired of being uncertain about everything. If I can be happy again. I don’t think I’ve felt truly happy in four years. When I smile it feels fake and uncomfortable. When I laugh I feel embarrassed. What is wrong with me? Is this really how I’m going to live out the rest of my life? A life of quiet bitterness and disappointment?
I’ve tried to change myself, but I can’t do it on my own. I need help.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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