conversation help: I want to go out and have a good time but I don’t have any friends.. - Help.com

I want to go out and have a good time but I don’t have any friends..

Well I do, but they are far and few between. I have 1 almost an hour away, another hasn’t emailed me yet, and I’m afraid he might have weed so I don’t know if I want to go there anyway…

I wish I could just go to a coffee shop and strike up a conversation with random people, but I’m not that big of a social butterfly. I can always hang out with my mom, which is cool, but it would be nice to have more friends.

I don’t go to school and I don’t have a job (technically I have both being a student employee 7 hours away (I am home for summer break)).

I was thinking about doing some casual dating while I’m here. I would meet the guys online, I’ve done it before. But I am still dealing with emotional strife over a bad break up a month ago. So I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. I would be going back in 3 weeks so it probably wouldn’t go anywhere.. but I’m still not sure.

I just wish I had somewhere to go. People tell me to just hang out at a coffee shop or go to a library, but how often do you talk to random strangers at those places? Really?

I guess I’m asking: How do I find someplace to go (within the context of what I said) and is casual dating a good idea this summer?

Thanks =)

This open post was written 10 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 403, 5, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Chi The Cat may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Chi The Cat is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 5 months and has 525 posts and 8,675 replies to their name.

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Social Butterfly, conversation, coffee shop, This Summer, Going Back, Strangers, good time, butterfly, Context, Library (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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kitty.softpaws offline Verified User (10 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

I think you should go to that coffee shop, just hang around, maybe someone will walk up to you and start talking. You really don’t have anything to lose. Maybe ask someone who works there if there are any gatherings, events or something interesting going on you aren’t aware of.
As for the dating… I am not really sure it’s a good idea. Just try socializing and if you happen to like someone, go for it.

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Chi The Cat offline Verified User (5 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

kitty.softpaws wrote:
I think you should go to that coffee shop, just hang around, maybe someone will walk up to you and start talking. You really don’t have anything to lose. Maybe ask someone who works there if there are any gatherings, events or something interesting going on you aren’t aware of.
As for the dating… I am not really sure it’s a good idea. Just try socializing and if you happen to like someone, go for it.

I don’t think it would work out that way, maybe 10 years ago, but not today. People don’t need to go up and talk to anyone because they have texting.

I’m not looking for a relationship or to like anyone, just some fun.

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nefarious offline Verified User (11 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 35 minutes after post)

I think if youre feeling hurt, dont bring another into your emotional triangle of needing to not be alone, you can hang out with someone, and sometimes some friends make choices we dont like, but they are still our friends…

you CAN meet people easily, look up the evolve 2012 festival, I met alot of non drugged up and very intelligent people at this place! Look online for local events happening around you, like bands playing at pubs or bars or music festivals! I go to these because I am the same, im not good socially in the sense of finding my own friends, you have to go somewhere and if you see someone, for example wearing a shirt that says something you like, or a girl wearing nice shoes, I dont know, compliment them and something may go from there!

Go live, and indulge in things that interest you and make you happy…

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Chi The Cat offline Verified User (5 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours after post)

OK… I’ll avoid the dating sites for now. I don’t know, it just seems like I would be alone in a crowd of people. But obviously I’m not going to live at home forever, so if I move to a new place I need to be able to make friends… the problem is I can’t make small talk without it being awkward. It ends up being “I like your shoes!” “Thanks!” and if I try to go any further it just ends up uncomfortable, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

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