relationship help: do you think not having a loving family, is a reflection on you as a person?

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do you think not having a loving family, is a reflection on you as a person?

my mother and father (divorced since i was a child) are superficial and selfish. my grandparents, i have to see, are the same. i thought at first they (grandparents) gave unconditional love, but this is not the case.

i would like to just move away and never have anymore contact with them, but i cannot due to the fact that i do not want to cause them unhappiness.

and lately, i have found myself becoming more bitter and angry. i even had an angry dream last night where it seemed that everyone in my life were selfish and were just causing my troubles without regard for my welfare or that of my daughter.

sidenote: my mother yesterday just left her husband, he was supposedly mentally abusive and potentially dangerous. she has asked to borrow money from me to purchase a car. and had requested that i get a po box here in this state so that she can tell her ex-husband that she is living here, and her mail would be forwarded here. she lives in another state. it’s always been the case, that she has considered what SHE could get out of our relationship. As a child, it was always about her. i agreed to both. but wish that she would just disappear from my life, i am sorry to say. and do feel guilty about my feelings.

how would you advice that i move past this?

i am a adult woman and a single mother to a baby girl.

This closed post was written 10 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 435, 6, 2 | Edit Post | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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unconditional, Unconditional love, relationship, Last Night, reflection, Dangerous, Yesterday, disappear, daughter, feelings (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Anonymous edited this post 10 months, 3 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

do you think not having a loving family, is a reflection on you as a person?

my mother and father (divorced since i was a child) are superficial and selfish. my grandparents, i have to see, are the same. i thought at first they (grandparents) gave unconditional love, but this is not the case.

i would like to just move away and never have anymore contact with them, but i cannot due to the fact that i do not want to cause them unhappiness.

and lately, i have found myself becoming more bitter and angry. i even had an angry dream last night where it seemed that everyone in my life were selfish and were just causing my troubles without regard for my welfare or that of my daughter.

sidenote: my mother yesterday just left her husband, he was supposedly mentally abusive and potentially dangerous. she has asked to borrow money from me to purchase a car. and had requested that i get a po box here in this state so that she can tell her ex-husband that she is living here, and her mail would be forwarded here. she lives in another state. it’s always been the case, that she has considered what SHE could get out of our relationship. As a child, it was always about her. i agreed to both. but wish that she would just disappear from my life, i am sorry to say. and do feel guilty about my feelings.

how would you advice that i move past this.
and am a single parent to a young baby girl.

i am a adult woman and a single mother to a baby girl.

Anonymous #
10 months, 3 weeks ago (38 minutes after post)

Of course it can reflect on you as a person. I’m glad you want to move past this, its definetly the first step. Its hard not to answer without it being from a christian standpoint, so i’m going to answer it from such. My most humble apologies if it offends you. As a christian, I believe now is the time to call upon the help of the lord. He has done miracles in my life, and if you would only be willing to ask he could do great things with your life too. Forgiveness is also the key. In life, you go nowhere if you do not learn to forgive. If you have any futher questions, feel free to ask. Again, i’m sorry that i don’t know how to help if you dont look at the the christian way.

Anonymous #
10 months, 3 weeks ago (42 minutes after post)

hyprocritical: “My most humble apologies if it offends you…”

No you aren’t humbly apologetic, if you proceed to act, do, or say a certain thing.

But thanks for putting time into giving input. And i do not have any questions for you. i have already forgiven.

Anonymous #
10 months, 3 weeks ago (51 minutes after post)

We all go through bumps in the road.

a part of the problem is that i’m burnt-out, emotionally from being the sole care taker to a toddler 24-7.

another is that i fear, yes…i do fear that my mother is going to lean on me more and more now that she has decided to leave her husband. she refuses to work and has no income for 5 years now. but despite it all, i had told her many times before that she could come to live with me, if necessary. i would send her a plane ticket and we could work it out when she arrives here in the state.

now she always starts arguments with me when we are in close proximity to one another for more than a few days, so this is very generous of me, i realize.

i know that she gave me life and did try to the best of her ability.

i have forgiven but i have not forgotten. and i am a firm believer in drawing boundaries for my protection and therefore the protection of my daughter. i vow to be a better parent to her. so i thank my parents for showing me the CORRECT and INCORRECT way to raise children.

this will pass. this will pass.

carajad #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 12 minutes after post)

the only way it may reflect on you as a person is if you use it for your benefit. somebody elses motive of love should not control your motive of love. but, if you think it is a reflection of you, then buy a new mirror.

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do you think not having a loving family, is a reflection on you as a person?

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