Love help: Should i go against my parents judgement? - Help.com

How old are you? And what are the threatened consequences?

Whoa, let’s get this right. A guy can say bad things not just about you but also about your parents and you are prepared to have him in your life? NO WAY. Tell him to sling his hook. If you start hanging out with him your parents will quite rightly be hurt and most probably stunned that your loyalty is to him and not them. As you grow older you will realise that there are a million guys in the world who will treat you and your parents with respect.
For your own self esteem, get out before anything starts. Honour your parents, just as they have honoured (been good parents) to you. They may not be perfect, but in 10 or 20 years you won’t even know this guy but you will still have your parents. They are priceless - treat them like so.
By being prepared to talk with him, you are saying that he was right, your parents are dog crap and that he has more importance than them AND your love, faithfulness and self-esteem put together.
Don’t answer his calls and if you answer by accident don’t listen to how much he is sorry or out of order. Put it to bed NOW and move on. If you find it hard to resist ask your parents to screen your calls - tell them he has started bugging you but you want to listen to them and have nothing to do with him. Be strong, his type of personality are about control and separating you from your parents. LEAVE HIM WELL ALONE AND TELL YOUR PARENTS.

honestly you should do what makes you happy start of with that because i know how parents are and my parents have also told me to not be with one of my ex boyfriends who cheated on me, i went back like an idiot and i learned to not take **** from no one..it made me stronger..but my parents were still there to support me and watch for me.. i might sound stupid BUT at the end of the day you experience life and we all live and learn.. you learn from your own mistakes.. and your parents cant always stop you from doing anything.. at the end of the day your going to do what you want.. but you should tell your parents theyre going to find out eventually.. and he should go apologize to your parents because if this guy wants to be with you maybe for the rest of your life he needs to start by making things right with your parents.. and your parents are always going to be there for you.. but this guy might not be here in a month or year.. im just saying to do what makes you happy.. no relationship is perfect.. not everything in this world is rainbows and cupcakes..

I could not agree more with alatif! They hit it on the nail…..have nothing to do with this guy…my daughter and I recently went through something just like this and the guy tirned out to be very crazy and out of control. Please listen to alatif!

alatif wrote:
Whoa, let’s get this right. A guy can say bad things not just about you but also about your parents and you are prepared to have him in your life? NO WAY. Tell him to sling his hook. If you start hanging out with him your parents will quite rightly be hurt and most probably stunned that your loyalty is to him and not them. As you grow older you will realise that there are a million guys in the world who will treat you and your parents with respect.
For your own self esteem, get out before anything starts. Honour your parents, just as they have honoured (been good parents) to you. They may not be perfect, but in 10 or 20 years you won’t even know this guy but you will still have your parents. They are priceless - treat them like so.
By being prepared to talk with him, you are saying that he was right, your parents are dog crap and that he has more importance than them AND your love, faithfulness and self-esteem put together.
Don’t answer his calls and if you answer by accident don’t listen to how much he is sorry or out of order. Put it to bed NOW and move on. If you find it hard to resist ask your parents to screen your calls - tell them he has started bugging you but you want to listen to them and have nothing to do with him. Be strong, his type of personality are about control and separating you from your parents. LEAVE HIM WELL ALONE AND TELL YOUR PARENTS.

Thanks nolateri - I learnt the hard way with my parents. My relationship with my dad broke down and was non-existent. I went away to uni and at the last minute decided not to return home for my birthday. The night I was supposed to have been home my father had a stroke. I went home the next day to comfort mum and help to sort things out. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I truly wish I had listened to my parents, afterall they only wanted good for me. That was 18 years ago and my relationship with mum is fantastic, but it needn’t have been so bad with my dad.

Original poster, there are some lessons we have to learn no matter what, there are some lessons that others have learnt and we can learn from them without paying the price they paid. Be wise, listen to your parents, listen to nolateri, listen to me, you know what is the right thing to do otherwise you wouldn’t have had the dilemma of betraying your parents in the first place - also that suggests that you love them and want to honour them. Be brave and ride out the heart break, it will reap great rewards in your character and in your relationship with your parents and you will meet a guy who is worthy of being part of your family. The right guy is worth waiting for.

Thanks alatif-And I’m sorry what you had to experience learning this lesson in life.

Original Poster-thanks for asking advice. If what both myself and alatif have had to learn the hard way will help you in making the right decision then it gives both of us something good that came out of our bad decision if it helps someone else avoid one they might be making.

Best of luck with your situation.