This post left anonymously
I’m sure you all heard it all before about confused teenage girls and everything.
But I felt the need to rant to hopefully people who would understand. Here I go:
I’m 16 years old in a couple of days. And ever since I was 13 I thought I was bi sexual. At the time I thought “oh hey, I’m only 13 I’m just growing up” and i tried to talk to my mom about these feelings and she was highly against them, i only live with my mom because my dad died the year before. So when i tried to tell her my feelings. She said she doesnt belive in bi sexuality, im either a lesbian or straight, and she doesnt like lesbians at all. So I just kept my feelings inside. Then, high school started the next year… And I started dateing guys so I assumed I was straight. Then after some boyfriends I started to fool around with girls. And I didn’t regret it. So I told myself that if I questioned being straight or bi sexual, then I’m straight. Well, I’m currently with a guy, who wants to have sex with me… And I’m a virgin (yeah, going to be a 16 year old virgin… It’s embarrassing), but I want to do it… I’m just scared what would happen after we did it? Like the emotional aspect. I just over think it and its now a fear to me. Like you know, how death is scary because it’s unknown of what happens? (which is one of he main reasons I stopped being catholic, and my moms trying to force me to find a new faith) it’s like that with sex and me, I’m so scared of it because it’s unknown. Ugh… So while I’m with my bf…. I’m desperately head over heels for my best friend (who is a girl) and has a bf…. We had a sleep over and we fooled around right under my moms nose. I’m going to be honest, I don’t even know why I feel like doing this at 2am…. I guess I just need to vent…. And I feel like I’m stupid. Stupid for being scared of everything…. Thank you if you read this, it actually made me feel a little better.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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