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I am a fairly complicated person, i know that.
I have tried to change, I have tried to become the person that everyone likes, but have had no success.
I am in my second Marriage. My first marriage was about 15 years long with my high school sweetheart. We had a tough go of things from the beginning, my parents didn’t like her, financial struggles among other things. I truly loved her and deep down I still do. The Problem was that she was a Cheater. I knew of three times,(after we were divorced, I found out about a few more). about 6 years ago, i was totally devistated to find out that my wife was going to move to Australia and leave me and my then, 14 year old son, for a guy she met on the internet. Well now my current story begins, I met my current wife through my job, she was my customer for about 10 years.We never really talked about much other than the products she was purchasing from us. But than one day we started talking about our personal lives, seemed we both had significant others that weren’t the best. Mine was a cheater and hers was a lying, stealing drunk that decided booze was more important than family.
we ended up together basically right away. at first things were rough, she had a 17 yr old daughter and 20 year old son that all moved in with me into a rental house (since my wife still lived in my house). things went real fast, but were great, she was trustworthy, honest, didnt steal money i had laying around, didnt cheat, i was her world and she was mine. after bout 2 years of living together, we got married and that’s when things started racing down hill.
The first thing I noticed was, that i was not as important as her family, not even a close second, then she stopped wanting to do things, i have tried to get her to golf , go to beaches, do outdoor things that she claimed to love, but she just wont. She does like camping, but unless her family is there, she doesn’t seem to have much fun. As a matter of fact, its like that at home to , if her family isn’t around, she just don’t seem to be happy.
I am basically alone most of the time and when im not, generally we are fighting about something i did wrong, or something my son did wrong. let me try and say something or express an opinion about one of her kids, holy cow it starts ww3.
Anyway, i cope with it by hanging out with friends, but over the course of the last few months, i have found out that 2 of the three are moving out of state, (i live in michigan) one is moving to Colorado and the other to Washington. i had one friend who was in the Navy based in chicago, move to california. the one that is staying here for now, isn’t a real close friend, hes the kind of guy that is just plain hard to get along with for more than a day or so.
So needless to say i am very lonely, my son dont really even want anything to do with me, he’s 20 now and dad just isn’t cool, been that way for a couple years now.
I stay depressed feeling and always have thoughts about being alone forever, it scares the hell out of me.
I truly wish my wife would understand me, and i wish she could be my best friend, but i cant tell her any of my feelings without creating a fight.
Thank you letting me vent.
p.s., Maybe its me, and i need to become a different person, but i dont know what that person is or how, please help me figure it out before its to late
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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