start help: My gf doesnt want to be with me anymore ever since she found out what I did to my first wife, come on that was 2 years ago! - Help.com

Being busy is no excuse. Putting a child into foster care is a huge thing and they’ll forever feel abandoned by you. Their mother ******* take care of them and you DIDN’T WANT TO. In this case I feel you are worse then her.
You could simply work less hours, thousands of parents do that. I can understand your girlfriend - you are obviously not a fan of responsibility.
Maybe you won’t leave her because she becomes violent, but maybe you will for other reasons. You have kids and you didn’t face the consequences of having them, that’s a really major thing to consider.

Do you ever see your kids at least? Take them fishing or anything?

The foster care system can be horrible. I think any good person would get custody to prevent them from being abused by their violent mother or used as a source of income for strangers and get a job that would allow you to take care of them. They are YOUR babies. I don’t understand you. Perhaps I shouldn’t have written this because it doesn’t help you in the way that you want help, but I thought if it could make you come to your senses it would be worth it, even if you seem like you are too irresponsible to take care of children. Your girlfriend sounds reasonable. If you learn to take responsibility, Karma might stop biting you in the ***.

sorry that is weak.

If somethings important to you, you make the time for it.

You obviously can not make time for the children that are yours. So what exactly do you think this woman thinks of you. Leaving your wife may have been acceptable, but leaving the kids too? Your work schedule is too busy? I want you to really think how THAT sounds to her….not to mention with her never being able to know the other side of the story….well, lets just say you aint coming off looking like Capt. Responsibility by any stretch of the imagination.

And where would she fall along that line…if you cant even make time for YOUR OWN CHILDREN, then what would make her think you could find time for her?

Face it man, she has already found a label for you…it’s called douchebag.

I guarandamntee to her you look like nothing more than a guy who’s just happy spreading his seed around then running when **** gets real. It may not be the case…but that’s how she sees you and honestly…there aint alot you can do to shake that image once a woman has it in her head.

I think you have screwed the proverbial pooch on this one, sorry.

Yes, people can change. Maybe you have. There are things that people who have changed usually say and do that maybe your new gf isn’t seeing in you.

From your post I would say you haven’t changed. only because usually when someone has changed they will talk about their past mistakes, which everyone makes, in a different way than you are right now.

What do you feel is different about you?

Personally it pains me a great deal the way it sounds you are talking about your children. To me it sounds like they are just some things you tried out and now you decided you don’t want cause it didn’t work out the way you wanted. This is painful for me. If your gf feels the same way I can absolutely see why she is unwilling to be with you.

What do you think or feel about your children? Do you love them? it is unclear to me that you love them by the way I am reading your post.

I was gunna add the same thing. How do you think those boys would feel if they heard their own father wouldn’t take them.

Think about if your own father said ‘I don’t want you’ or ‘I won’t take you’.

Seems you have some issues you need to work on with your own flesh and blood before you go off trying to share that life with someone else.