You might be depressed because you seem to have feelings of hopelessness. Deal with that first to change your mind set back to your old positive self. First go Excersiz and eat bananas everyday to give your body positive chemicals, , tell yourself positive thoughts, then join any group or job your interested in to meet people. Show yourself friendly and positive and you will attract people. Get a book on etiquette and always be gracious to people and you’ll make friends who will stay.
My mother beat etiquette into me. I am one of the most polite people I know. I just get so nervous around people. When I was young I never had friends. I got beat up all the time for being “ugly” or “too nice”. I try to talk to people but I get so uncomfotable that I become deadpan and incredibly sarcastic. I tense up and my mind automatically goes there. I feel like I am gonna vomit when people talk to me and I end up saying things that receive a blank stare or I accidentally offend someone. It’s frustrating because for the friend that I do have and my boyfriend, I am just swell and enjoy myself and I know they love me to death. I will look for things to do around here to make friends.
Ive felt that way in social situations too. I study up on a social sitting first to avoid not knowing what to do. Read how to be a lady and what a lady would say and the cosmos girls book to manners. Those books tell you the whys and how comes of what we should and should not say.
For example if your getting weird looks try not saying anything offensive like swear words, always use a low voice and a low sounding laugh when speaking to people. Only use polite neutral conversation starters like the weather or agreeing this is a nice party or whatever. If looking to meet people try starting a conversation by asking what a random item does
Some friends are take a while( minimum one yr) to become real friends. Some people are good for going out with to meet others. But in this world all you need to be happy is yourself. Be happy with you and the rest will come
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It is summertime, go to festivals and art shows or whatever you are interested in, have quick words with other people enjoying the festivities, at least you will be relating, and you’ll have a good day. It starts from there,
I am grateful I have them, but my boyfriend is in a band and tours a lot so I don’t see him much and I don’t want my other friend to get sick of me. I do have aquantances that are kind of like friends, but the only think they ever want to do is party. My boyfriend’s friends aren’t fond of meeting new people. And my other friend doesn’t have many friends of her own. I don’t know how to just go up and talk to someone. And no one ever comes up to me unless they want to hit on me. I just never know what to say to anyone. People are so challenging to me. I don’t understand them. But I do not desire to be without them. I want just a nice group of friends who want to actually hang out and do fun things that don’t involve feeling like a wreck the next day. I get terrified being around people I know and I end up sulking. I want to change, but I don’t know where to start. I will practice daily by going places, but there’s not much to do in Fargo, ND.
Anonymous
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10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 17 minutes after post)
yeah, small community. But you need to figure out who you are as a person, and stick to what you will accept and what you won’t. Even if it cuts off this or that. Stand for something, or fall for anything, that’s a saying — it’s not a full on conversation with strangers, it’s just sharing the experience - you’ll go thru a lot before you land where you should … but it’s worth it,
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This may seem like a random idea, but I’ve heard from people whose opinion I respect that a self-help book called “How To Win Friends and Influence People” is greatly helpful. This is just hearsay because I tried to read it and didn’t get very far, which is probably why I don’t know how to have friends yet, but those other people did recommend it. Most of the reviews on Amazon are similarly glowing praise.
The win friends book just kind of tells you to pay attention to people. Listen to them, look them in the eye, smile. Someone who listens to what you say and lets the conversation be about you and smiles is someone everyone wants to be friends with.
jeannabe wrote:
My mother beat etiquette into me. I am one of the most polite people I know. I just get so nervous around people.
could that be related?
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