man help: Whenever my man does something nice like buy me something he wants it to be appreciated. - Help.com

Whenever my man does something nice like buy me something he wants it to be appreciated.

Then he gets mean, throws it in my face that he just did something nice when I respond to his anger with anger. Us this how he is? Why? How do I respond? It throws me off balance.

This closed post was written 10 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 477, 20, 5 | Edit Post | Report Post


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Since writing this post Having fun may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Having fun is a verified member, has been around for 11 months and has 19 posts and 33 replies to their name.

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jeannabe offline Verified User (10 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (4 minutes after post)

Appreciate it? That seems to be what he wants and it doesn’t cost anything to say, “thank you darling. I love the things you do for me.”

Sit down and talk to him about it. Communication is key in any relationship. If he is not mature to talk about flaws and faults that deal with himeself, he is not mature enough for a stable and serious relationship.

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Having fun offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

I did talk to him. I gave him examples of how he is mean. I tell him he’s nice, thank you, a good man, a keeper. So much ego stroking. He ruined the night. I tried to move on, not argue but he wouldn’t let it go. Then he purposely woke me up in the middle of the night. He walked around growning and complaining I ruined the night. I just don’t want to fight.

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jeannabe offline Verified User (10 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (18 minutes after post)

Sounds like you are dating a manboy. How old are you two? How long have you been dating? Do you love him?

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Having fun offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (30 minutes after post)

I am 35, he is 44. Dating 5 yrs. we broke up because I couldn’t take this kind of **** for 3 months and have been back tighter now 2 months. He made changes and this is one of them but when he’s nice sometimes he a **** too. Why? Does he just HAVE to mentally and emotionally abuse me or does he really think saying thank you is not enough. I appreciate my purchase. I was pleased with my gift. All this I told him. But what followed took the fun out of it and made me wish I had not accepted it.

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jeannabe offline Verified User (10 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (35 minutes after post)

I am no doctor, but I have a feeling this is probably something he has going on with him mentally. Do you know if he had a bad childhood with his parents? Abusive parents can train a childs mind to grow to become abusive. My boyfriend picks on me a lot and says mean things, but I know it’s because his father does that to his mother. But he appologies when I tell him it hurts me. If he continues this way, you may need to end it for good. There is no reason for living a life with someone who makes you feel sad/bad.

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eunique offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (58 minutes after post)

i answered this in your other post, but he has serious issues, which are now becoming yours cause you want to hold on to him, eww - trust me, there are other, finer, gentler, kinder, real men around — hope you don’t let him lower who you are - get back your senses, he is so not the One ~

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Dr. Ralph offline Verified User (4 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (2 hours, 24 minutes after post)

I guess he expects actions instead of words. Saying thank you is one thing, showing it is another. It really sounds like you guys are on two different wavelengths. I am amazed you have made it 5 years.

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Having fun offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (5 hours, 28 minutes after post)

We made up. We are happy again. We are doing our favorite things we like to do together. I make him happy and he makes me happy. I love my man. He’s better than wonderful and I’m out of words. Does anyone have the word for what I’m describing???

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Anonymous #
10 months, 2 weeks ago (8 hours, 4 minutes after post)

i’m not going to judge, but this is just a good day for him, long as you’re happy, i’m happy for ya, he sounds bi-polar to me, good days and bad days, all rolled up together - long as you’re happy, i’m happy for ya,

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Having fun offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (13 hours, 47 minutes after post)

He was looking for an excuse to blow up and I said **** it because I’ve been needing an excuse to break up. I held out the worm and he took the bait. **** his unhonerable *** and rude *** ways. I told him I’m not the one to take his **** with a smile. I respond in kind and he can kiss my ***.

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Anonymous #
10 months, 2 weeks ago (13 hours, 56 minutes after post)

told ya he’s bi-polar, immature, and all of that. Waste of time hon, please find a decent guy, start out as friends, and see where it goes. This one is gonna drive you plum crazy and you’ll feel soo bad about yourself for having wasted soo much time on this crazy fk

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Having fun offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (14 hours, 13 minutes after post)

I did it before and took him back after three months. But this time I recognize it right away and have no patience. I can do better by myself. I can find a nice guy to bring home. My mistake, this one has been a dud. The abuse cycle. He’s been trying to get into a fight and making irrational demands. Then I stroke his ego to calm him down but it only works till the next time. I can’t go back to how he made me feel about myself before. Everything in my life is so up right now. The future didn’t look all that bright with him in it anyway when I thought about it. Ive learned some hard life’s lessons, I think differently now. I’ve been humbled. But I’ve also earned respect from peers at work, it an exciting time. I’m looking forward to a new stage in life. My only son in the house turned 18 and is becoming Independant and I’m proud. I get to do somethings I’ve waited to do like go back to college and pursue my goals, travel and have a good time, live a knew kind of life. I’m still a young thirty, I took care to keep a slender body. I don’t have time for this. I could be doing a bunch of different things instead of wasting time on him. Meeting new people, getting out. I’m very optimistic even if they don’t go the way I planned it it will still be fun. I want a positive kind of man, not some creep that ******* like a whining *** woman. Cheer the hell up and be happy. Have a good time when your around me or leave me alone and go be angry by yourself. Keep your negative emotions to your self because I’m going up. I don’t have time for this.

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eunique offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (14 hours, 34 minutes after post)

well good to hear that, i was concerned maybe you fell off your chair and bumped your head …:)~ as to say if you went back with him, you must be not of sound mind or spirit …but i read that you are ~

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Dr. Ralph offline Verified User (4 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day, 7 hours after post)

She went back to him 5 1/2 hours after the post and then 8 hours later they broke up again. They are both bi-polar. Pay attention anon…

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Having fun offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day, 8 hours after post)

Haha. Lmbo. No really. A few months ago this man drove me insane. I gave hiim a chance to prove he had changed, he didn’t and now the hard part. I have to get over him

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