Love help: I have a long distance relationship between the UK and Australia. - Help.com



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I have a long distance relationship between the UK and Australia.

We have known each other for a long while and got back into contact with one another after a few years where we drifted apart. As of February this year, we decided to meet up and take our relationship a bit further. We talked every day through Facebook (the easiest way for us both) and occasionally skyped with each other. The original date of his visit had to be changed due to issues with passports, but was rescheduled for two weeks later - which wasn’t a problem. He even waited for a Skype conversation to break this news to me so he could tell me personally.

A week ago, he left the town he had moved to and went back to his hometown for ease of access to the airport. This is where it all got a bit complicated. For the last week it has been almost impossible to get hold of him - partly due to sickness early in the week and from visiting his old friends later in the week. But the time of his flight approached and I still hadn’t heard anything about the flight code so I couldn’t be sure. Thanks to the feature on facebook, I noticed that he hadn’t seen any of my recent messages from Sunday, Monday or today. His friends haven’t heard anything from him, it’s like he’s dropped off the face of the earth.

Because I don’t have his phone number, I rely a lot on facebook, and knowing that he’s not getting/seeing my messages is utterly heartbreaking, seeing as he was so excited to come over. He was supposed to be landing today so I went to the airport anyway to see if he was there, waited for three hours and then I had to go home alone.

I got in touch with one of his friends, asking if they’d heard from him but apparently he’s not said a word since returning to his hometown. I’m really worried and I have no idea what to do. This is apparently really uncharacteristic of him, and the guilt at being mad at him is eating me up in case he’s really sick or something awful. Of course, he might have gotten cold feet but all we talked about was how excited we were to see each other, and his friend agreed he wouldn’t have backed out of it.

All help and opinions are welcome, I just need to hear something to help me get some closure.

This open post was written 10 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 450, 6, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 39 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (37 minutes after post)

Don’t buy trouble . . . wait for an explanation.

But if the two of you are going to have a long-distance relationship, you need to have each other’s phone numbers. You can buy Skype credit and call international!

Just wait and see . . . you ought to be hearing something soon!

I agree, however . . . it is MOST strange!

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Anonymous #
10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour after post)

maybe he is an internet phantom only

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IrAdler offline Verified User (4 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 41 minutes after post)

Guessing only: he met someone else and gave up on you; he is in a hospital and no one knows; he is in jail.
Wait and see what happened. If he had his air ticket, you could have called the airline to inquire whether he was on the plane or not. The red flag to me in this story is that he didn’t give you any phone numbers to call ever.

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Anonymous #
10 months, 2 weeks ago (2 hours, 29 minutes after post)

@chev

I guess you’re right, waiting is essentially my only option. I did leave him my phone number in a message in case he gets the chance to see it, though it was probably a bit too late for that. I was just happy with the contact over facebook as it had never been an issue before, and I wasn’t prepared for something like this. However, I believe his friends have tried to contact him (most likely by phone) and haven’t had any luck, so having a number in this instance might not have exactly been useful.

@gal

I may seem naive, but I find it hard to believe that he would turn me down for another girl a week before coming to meet me, as he had already booked the flight *twice* and gone through a lot of fuss to get his passport. It would be somewhere in the range of $2500 lost, and that seems like a waste for a bit of local skirt as that money would be non-refundable. The basic details of the flight were discussed (the time he would leave and the approximate arrival time) and it seems odd he would go to such lengths to lie to me when he knows that I’m relatively accommodating when it comes to changed plans. Unfortunately jail/hospital had come to mind, as I have only made contact with the friends that would not be local to him they wouldn’t be able to help me much further with that. Another issue that came to mind was that perhaps his friends are covering for him for some reason, but they seem to be just as concerned as I am.

Either way, this is such an incredibly painful experience. And he’s going to need a pretty good excuse to make it back into my good books, and I’ll have to be certain of all the details should he get in contact again and want to rearrange in the future.

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Anonymous #
10 months, 2 weeks ago (2 hours, 53 minutes after post)

i’m quite sure that you will never hear of him again
move on!

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IrAdler offline Verified User (4 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 2 weeks ago (7 hours, 35 minutes after post)

If you know the name of the city he was at the last time, you could call all possible hospitals to inquire whether he is there or not. Did you actually see the itinerary of his ticket? If not that can be doubted too he had a ticket or not. Once I knew a friend who had a long distance relationship similar to yours and the guy “disappeared” like yours only to be found being married. He was a married guy playing on the internet feeding a woman until the last step. So far we are just guessing so the best is to wait but for how long? If the guy does not send you a shout within a month (and that’s a LONG wait) you should forget about him. Let us know what happened.

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