This post left anonymously
Is having friends overrated?
It’s been a long time since I had someone I could call a friend, let alone a best friend. Actually, I don’t remember really having one. They all left after a while. I used to feel very lonely and cried myself to sleep, but I think it’s kinda okay now. I suppose that I’ve settled with the fact that I’m never finding a true friend, probably because they are nonexistent nowadays. People who you want to call friends always end up taking you for granted or only call you in the time of need, and they’re never there when you need them. I meet a lot of people whom I could potentially be friends with, but somehow it just never works out. It’s made me quite socially awkward, most of the time I don’t know how to react when someone talks to me. It feels as if I have failed all forms of human communication. Whenever I am in a good discussion with an acquaintance, I can’t even take the discussion forward with my input and perhaps it dissappoints them and they find me very uninteresting and robotic. I don’t even know how to stay in touch with people anymore, a long time passes since I last met someone and I feel it’s too late to get in touch with them now. I know life is short et al, but come to think of it they wouldn’t really remember me.
I don’t know what went wrong down the line, I used to be very energetic and talkative as a child. I used to speak my mind without fear of what others may think of me, but now I think twice before saying something and I don’t say it at all. I was memorable to my teachers and my classmates loved me. Even when I cross paths with an old classmate, they seem to look at me in a sympathetic manner. Not that I turned out to be a train wreck or something, but I just remind them of their childhood and how I drifted apart from them during high school (they probably wonder what happened to me). I hope what I’m saying makes a bit of sense, I don’t know if this is the right place to post my thoughts but I just felt like it.
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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