man help: My dad is a total b**** all he ever does is yell and he pays - Help.com

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Just….wait.
Be patient.
You won’t live with him forever. Things will look up. It just takes time.

But until that day, I would hide sharp objects from yourself just in case.

Lots of men work very hard and build up a lot of aggressions and take them out on their family when they get home. I have done this. Give him an hour to cool off after he gets home. That is why so many people drink as soon as they get home. The double martini worked wonders when men came home from work and their wife handed them one at the door.

It sounds like the real issue is that you wish your Dad would act and talk in a way that showed you that you matter to him and that what you think and feel means something to him.

I don’t know how to change someone like that, or help them so they can change themselves. I tried for 17 years to help my Dad and in the end he just hated me for it. Maybe he never had someone accept him and show him that he matters to them when he feels like this. I don’t know. Whatever it is you wish he would do for you, you need to do for him. You know that it hurts the other way around so, give a little and get a little perhaps?

try and do some deep breathing now, settle down. be patient. hes probably just flipping out because hes stressed. avoid him for a bit if you can and stay to yourself. its only till youre 18 dear

YIKES! DO NOT KILL HIM!

This will only make things worse….I completly undrstand what you are saying and how you must feel…..the one person in your life that you would expect to be an example and a loving one at that is not at all what he should be at this moment….and maybe not at many!

Do take a deep breath and unwind…..Parents by far are not the best example of what we should be when we grow up or want to be……!

My father was big at yelling and putting us down…..telling us mean and cruel things..like you will never amount to anything and actually thinking about it now he just flew off his rocker way to many times…then to say the least was so condensating and judgmental towards others…like he was so high and mighty himself!

Don’t get me wrong I love my Dad TODAY! And God rest his soul he is gone and with the Lord. And many years later reached out to me and sought my love for him….I rejected it at the time but as I grew with in myself I accepted it!

Later I discovered that he had a very difficult life growing up and inside was an amazing man…I just had to find it in him….not for myself but for him. To be able to Love him and you might say to be more understanding and more patient then he ever was or could be…..!

I’m sorry he has hurt you and then judge you….he honestly is hurting himself and has no skills in being a parent….he is trying just like you are and all of us…

So PLEASE take these thoughts out of your mind and relax for a moment and think of yourself….look at who you are and who you want to be and go for it! Do it and never look back only forward.

As every day is a new day tomorrow is a new begining! Grab a hold of life and be the best you can,

Your Father knows no better and probably crys out with in himself searching for relief of the monster he has become.

Be patient and get away from home as soon as you can and live your life with no regrets… Be the Parent one day to your kids as the kind of parent you wish you had right now!

GOD BLESS! Lotsa of love and compassion to you from me!

Truth be told, your dad probably feels like a slave. He probably has a job he doesn’t like, and when he gets home he feels like he’s alienated from his wife and daughter. He looks at you and he doesn’t want you to end up a slave like him. So he b*****s at you about doing this and doing that, because he feels that if you are squared away you will be more successful in life than he is.

He’s probably very miserable inside–probably even scared–and he could probably use some hugs and affection from his family.

I’m not saying this will be the “cure,” and even if it is, it won’t be overnight. But it will be a worthwhile endeavor on your part.

Try to make your dad feel that his efforts are appreciated. I’ll tell you something, kid: the world isn’t the same as it was 30 years ago. Today there is NO job security and everybody feels angst about his or her job going away. Employers don’t take very good care of their employees any more. The people in Washington are clueless, because they’re all rich and they don’t know what your dad has to go through in order to make a living for all of you.

Know what? Your dad wants to feel like he’s your and your mom’s hero. Has anybody ever done anything to make him feel that way?

Being a parent is often a thankless job. You’re just expected to do it, and work your tail off even if your kids keep their door shut 24/7 and never even say hello to you. Try to imagine walking a mile in his shoes. Think about what’s been done to make him feel appreciated. I’ll bet you’ll find that your scorecard on that count is showing a zero. If so, you need to fix that!

Chev, I commonly learn more ways to show greater respect to my husband from your insightful posts. Thank you. You are improving the lives of men one husband at a time, in my opinion.

I think that what you say is right on and I think that just as much as the OP can understand her Dad, her Dad needs to grow and understand the OP. It goes both ways, as I’m sure you already know.

Rachel, You have a strong responsibility in any relationship you are in. You have the responsibility to treat your Dad with respect, because he is a person. Your Dad also has the strong responsibility to treat you with respect. Unfortunately, we can’t make people do what we want. So it then goes to you. What kind of relationship do you want to have with your Dad? What kind of relationships skills do you want to cultivate in your life?

I’m sorry that how you feel isn’t being more openly and compassionately taken care of in this situation.

chev.jame wrote:
Truth be told, your dad probably feels like a slave. He probably has a job he doesn’t like, and when he gets home he feels like he’s alienated from his wife and daughter. He looks at you and he doesn’t want you to end up a slave like him. So he b*****s at you about doing this and doing that, because he feels that if you are squared away you will be more successful in life than he is.

He’s probably very miserable inside–probably even scared–and he could probably use some hugs and affection from his family.

I’m not saying this will be the “cure,” and even if it is, it won’t be overnight. But it will be a worthwhile endeavor on your part.

Try to make your dad feel that his efforts are appreciated. I’ll tell you something, kid: the world isn’t the same as it was 30 years ago. Today there is NO job security and everybody feels angst about his or her job going away. Employers don’t take very good care of their employees any more. The people in Washington are clueless, because they’re all rich and they don’t know what your dad has to go through in order to make a living for all of you.

Know what? Your dad wants to feel like he’s your and your mom’s hero. Has anybody ever done anything to make him feel that way?

Being a parent is often a thankless job. You’re just expected to do it, and work your tail off even if your kids keep their door shut 24/7 and never even say hello to you. Try to imagine walking a mile in his shoes. Think about what’s been done to make him feel appreciated. I’ll bet you’ll find that your scorecard on that count is showing a zero. If so, you need to fix that!