Love help: I am dating an acholic I am 18 he is 21 he does not abuse me - Help.com

You probably are stupid (judging by spelling and lack of all grammer), also looking for advice on the internet because you don’t know what to do is proof that your are not to bright (which I am sure he mentally abuses you by saying). You should stay with him and count your blessings that someone put up with you. I am sure his drinking stems off of being in love with an unbearable dummy. Hang on to this guy or you might not be so lucky next time, and find someone that beats you for being so annoying. Stop being a victum and listen to what he is saying. I am sure he is right 80% so just shut up and learn something.

Would you call Hitler stupid?

This is a really difficult problem. More than likely, your boyfriend will not admit to having a problem. If he truly is an alcoholic, the only thing that will help him is abstinance. The only thing that has worked for me is alcoholics anonymous. I have been sober for three years. It’s hard to get sober at such a young age (21) but many people do. Has he had bad consequences of his drinking? It usually takes something drastic to make him see his life is unmanageable. If you continue to be with him and he continues to drink, I would recommend Al-Anon. Alanon is a group for people affected by the alcoholic. (friends/family/spouse)

you have won me over Qzzzz… Help help away… (nice side step by the way)… But why do you feel that the problem is with the boyfriend. Their is a good chance that this girl has border line disorder BPD (27% of women 18-35 fit a diagnosis of BPD). Since this ‘mental abuse’ only happens during his drinking leads me to believe that the male usually has enough social graces to smooth over her BPD tendencies, but while intoxicated does not. The male age 21 is going to go through a normal drinking period that sually last till a year after college. Not to mention the subjects are 18 and 21 which means that everything they do is just going to be one screw up after another. Hopefully they will be bright enough to learn from their mistakes and that none of them will kill them on their way to possible enlightenment. I would suggest the boyfriend to read information on BPD and the female start taking her education seriously.

Border line disorder? that sounds made up. Maybe you mean bi-polar?

I love my father but he is an alcoholic. I can’t stand him when he is drunk. That’s why I don’t live with him, and I try to only talk to him early in the morning so he hasn’t had a chance to drink himself into a stupor. But he’s still my dad and I love him, and I can’t just get rid of him. But this boyfriend is expendable. You can’t help anyone who doesn’t want your help or doesn’t think they have a problem. I can leave my dads house and go on with my life, but a boyfriend you are probably planning on actually spending time with him and that is quite difficult when you can’t stand him half the time. People who havn’t lived with (or dealt with) an alcoholic can’t quite grasp the pain it causes. Don’t let his problem ruin your life.