relationship help: It just feels like there’s something wrong - Help.com

It just feels like there’s something wrong

Okay, so for anyone who read my last post about ‘Should i let what other people think about someone change my mind about being with them?’ (i know i put it as annoymous, but i didnt mean to but yeah.) i did go out with the guy.

We’ve being going out for just over a week, so its still pretty new. Everything was great, not awkward at all, and we were both really happy.

But just recently, like the last couple of days, something was wrong. Like, I didn’t feel it, I could just tell something wasn’t right. I didn’t know what it was, but he just felt a bit more distant, a bit less affectionate, and conversation didnt flow like it used to.

This was slowly killing me inside while I was around him, and my mind kept picking out more and more little things that weren’t right. Like, he didn’t look me in the eye, he seemed more interested in talking to my friends than me, when i touched his fingers he didn’t squeeze my hand like he used to. Just tiny little things. He didn’t wait for me after class.

Now this probably sounds pretty stupid, but i guess I just get paranoid about these things.

What kinda made it worse, was that all this was reminding me of exactly how i felt last year just before my ex dumped me. So that wasn’t exactly helpful..

I dunno. It’s just, before he was the one obsessed with me, and now he seems… i dunno.

And it didn’t help that my friend told me he said I was kinda clingy, which bascialy confirmed my doubts. But, tbh I don’t particularly trust this friend, and she may have got the wrong end of the stick of what he was saying, or maybe even made it up. I really dunno. But what she said kinda makes sense.

I guessed, beacuse he was the one who asked me out, the one who wanted to spend time with me, who missed me… that being clingly, and too-affectionate was like, impossible. If you get what I mean.

Can anyone help??
I really don’t want to break up with him. And i don’t want to lose my friendship with my friend (the one who said i was clingy). Am i over-reacting??? ~that happens a lot. What can i say.
My other friend just thinks that this is a tiny hiccup in our relationship, and that this happens with everyone. After all, its still early days.
She thinks I should talk to him - is that a good idea?? I mean, I want to tell him about this, but I know trying to get guys to open up and talk can just push them further away.

Any ideas would be amazing!!

Thanks! ;D

This open post was written 10 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 662, 8, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post helen424 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. helen424 is a verified member, has been around for 2 years and has 10 posts and 97 replies to their name.

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helen424 changed the tags on this post: they were "Little Things, relationship, conversation, other people, friendship, impossible, Last Post, Who Said, Tell Him, Killing" 10 months, 1 week ago.

Zirbel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (12 minutes after post)

Listen to your gut feeling! What does it say to you?
Listen and ACT.

From afar it seems that the fire is out and extinct — on both side.

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helen424 offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (16 minutes after post)

Zirbel wrote:
From afar it seems that the fire is out and extinct — on both side.

Hmmmm…… does that mean err….he feels there’s something wrong too?? :/
Sorry im not good at riddles. At least not this time in the morning.

And how should I act??? But thank you!!

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Zirbel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (20 minutes after post)

helen424 wrote:
And how should I act??? But thank you!!

Discuss it with him, ask him about his feelings,
OR
Leave him and move on.

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helen424 offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (21 minutes after post)

ohh god its sooo the first option.

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helen424 offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 29 minutes after post)

anyone else got any advice??
Not that i dont appreciate zirbel’s opinion, just i wanna see what else i could do
thanks.

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chris2fer offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (2 hours, 16 minutes after post)

Some people need constant stimulation in life. This is also true of relationships. I am one of these people.

For me, if I started to act like this it is because I am not really bothered anymore. You should either just finish and move on OR distance yourself a bit too. If he comes after you, trying to bridge the gap between you, he likes you and wants to be with you. If he doesn’t then I am correct and he isn’t bothered.

If he does come after you, I would say you may have made things too easy for him and he perhaps likes having a role, like the chaser. I would recommend being slightly more aloof. This is where the stimulation part comes in. Giving him time to think about you and the relationship is stimulating. If you put it all on a plate for him, he may get bored.
Being aloof doesn’t mean make him jealous. Just make sure you have room for your friends in your life and spend good time with them.
Never worry about having to be there for him all the time. You don’t want a guy who needs mothering. Give him time and space to think about and miss you.

All the best

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helen424 offline Verified User (2 years) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (9 hours, 19 minutes after post)

Thank you.. er, is it Chris?!!! This is exactly what i’ve been wondering since I wrote this post, and you replying has confirmed my thinking. I totally agree, I think i have been too easy to get now that we starting going out for real.

Due to a convienantly timed school trip I won’t actually see him on monday, and I won’t see him again till tuesday, so that time apart will be the beginning of me being less……for the want of a better word, available. If you get what i mean.

Thank you again for your incredibly worded advice, and…yeah! Thanks soo much!!

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