house help: Okay so about two months ago the restaurant I was working in got robbed while me and some of the other workers were there. - Help.com

Wow. Yes, something with this level of trauma may carry with it some post-traumatic-stress. Definitely worth talking it over with a professional. I’m glad you are here to talk about it.

Yes, definitely. That, or find a local group of people with similar experiences to talk about it.

No, I don’t think a therapist is the best way to deal with it.

The best way to deal with it is to take concrete measures to keep yourself from being a victim.

A therapist isn’t going to be there the next time some miscreant confronts you or your loved ones.

Unfortunately, we have to take responsibility for our own safety and security. There’s a saying: “When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.” Think about that for a while.

I personally advocate that women have three things in their possession: a cell phone, pepper spray and a gun. But I advocate having a gun ONLY if the woman is willing to learn how to use it, and to learn the laws about self-defense. You cannot draw a weapon when confronted by a criminal and not have the fortitude to use it. You have to be committed to that course of action–if the goblin doesn’t cease and desist.

Being armed gives you an entire range of options that an unarmed person doesn’t have. I remember an incident in my hometown. Two robbers entered a restaurant, pulled guns and then ordered the customers to go into the cooler. One man, who remembered a similar robbery in which restaurant workers and customers were herded into a back room and shot, waited for his opportunity and pulled his licensed .45 automatic. He then started riddling the goblins with bullets; one died immediately and the other was turned into a paraplegic.

In my own personal and humble opinion, being able to confront and neutralize threats beats all the “therapy” in the world.

chev.jame wrote:
No, I don’t think a therapist is the best way to deal with it.

The best way to deal with it is to take concrete measures to keep yourself from being a victim.

A therapist isn’t going to be there the next time some miscreant confronts you or your loved ones.

Unfortunately, we have to take responsibility for our own safety and security. There’s a saying: “When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.” Think about that for a while.

I personally advocate that women have three things in their possession: a cell phone, pepper spray and a gun. But I advocate having a gun ONLY if the woman is willing to learn how to use it, and to learn the laws about self-defense. You cannot draw a weapon when confronted by a criminal and not have the fortitude to use it. You have to be committed to that course of action–if the goblin doesn’t cease and desist.

Being armed gives you an entire range of options that an unarmed person doesn’t have. I remember an incident in my hometown. Two robbers entered a restaurant, pulled guns and then ordered the customers to go into the cooler. One man, who remembered a similar robbery in which restaurant workers and customers were herded into a back room and shot, waited for his opportunity and pulled his licensed .45 automatic. He then started riddling the goblins with bullets; one died immediately and the other was turned into a paraplegic.

In my own personal and humble opinion, being able to confront and neutralize threats beats all the “therapy” in the world.

And the hero who gunned down the two robbers is probably in therapy for PTSD. These events can linger with people Chev, whether victim or vigilante. But, like you, that’s my personal, humble opinion.

No, the guy who shot them didn’t go into therapy, and he didn’t consider himself to be a hero–just someone who did what had to be done.

I’m in Afghanistan right now . . . and I can tell you that I would rather be considering the implications of having shot the Taliban, rather than having the Taliban mulling over the implications of shooting me.

No sane person enjoys taking a human life. But when someone is threatening to maim or kill you, you have to make a decision: him or me. My thinking is already done on this subject–and because of that, my reaction time isn’t slowed down one bit.

I wish we could just cede our security needs and responsibilities to the police, but we cannot. In 1984, the US Supreme Court ruled that police protection was something due to society at large, not to specific individuals. The ruling came in a case that involved two women whose home had been broken into by rapists. The women were raped over a period of 14 hours. One managed to sneak to a phone and call the Washington, D.C., police. The police who responded drove by the house but didn’t even stop. When the rapists left, the women felt victimized by the police as well as by the rapists. They sued the police, with the result stated above.

I’ve been in situations, e.g., a carjacking, in which I could have shot the goblin dead, but I didn’t–because I didn’t have to. I’d much rather not shoot if given a choice. Fortunately for both of us, the goblin in the carjacking case decided that continuing to beat the driver senseless wasn’t an option after I had drawn on him.

I believe that we should exert control in our lives whenever there’s an opportunity to do so. And my personal belief is that being able to defend one’s self and family relieves one heck of a lot of potential anxiety where the criminal element is concerned.

I think both positioons have merit. Yes a therapist could help you if your fears begin to mess with your normal life. However, there may well be lessons to be learnt about vigilance and security. But these too can become irrational.

Being robbed is a rare event for a person to experience. I am in my fifties, my flat was robbed once. That was my only experience and I was at fault because I did not lock my front door. I have been physically attacked as a child but tyhat is children learning boundaries with eachother.

Checking your back seat while driving endangers you and others.

I choose to live in a world where I trust people. I was in a very bad car accident recently and total strangers- young men in a fairly rough area - came to my aid. The young kids in the area wanted to extort money to “protect” my wrecked car against vandalism or robbery - I gave them a bit of money and stold them to take a hike as I recognised them as the treat! LOL!

Take care of yourself but no way should you live in fear. The restaurant should install some more security perhaps but again this needs to be reasonable, you can’t serve customers behind bullet proof glass.

I’m sad but not suprised the situation worried you. I do think it has led to over worried thoughts, these may pass. Chat with your other workers. How do they feel?

Taking some measures of protective control and self defense may help the poster feel safe (Lord help them if they do ever point a gun on someone who’s pointing a gun at them), but I can’t believe that it’s a waste of their time to talk to someone AFTER the fact, to get some help and perspective with a traumatic experience that happened to them. That has nothing to do with ceding protection to the police, or fighting back against the goblins (great word by the way)

You brought Afgahanistan into the conversation. Vets from Afghanistan and Iraq are among the best trained civilians in North America regarding gun ownership. And many of them have successfully processed the war and come out the other side. But do you think some of them may have spoken to a Therapist since they got back, or should?

I do have pepper spray that I carry around now that I never carried around before because I was always “so things won’t happen to me” so that was a step towards it. But still, I’m paranoid about it. I was thinking about taking a self defense class as well because I feel like if I ever was in another situation, and in the robbery I didn’t have to defend myself because I hid, but if I was in a situation in which I needed to defend myself now, I don’t think I’d be capable of it. And I want to be. So maybe that would be another step towards being not so scared about living my life.

Thanks for opinions and suggestions everyone.

Just one thing, being a “have a go hero” as us Brits call victims of crime who strike back can be very dangerous. Your self defense class won’t help against a gun. If you carry a weapon, even a pepper sprey, the mugger or whoever can over power you and use your weapon against you. THe safest move is to remove yourself from mthe situation and call the police. If mugged hand over the money your life is worth more. Drop soe of it and run like hell. If stalked walk to the nearest inhabited area - a shop or street.

This has happened to me: if a man threaterns you and tries to lead you into an isolated place to be robbed or beaten taken any opportunity to quickly walk up to other people and explain the sitruation . or just look paniced and catch someone’s eye. Do not get led into isolated places.

If you are being followed in a car and you are in a car drive to the nearest police station. If on foot walk to the nearest busy street or house.

If you carry a knife, spray or whatever these can be grabbed off you and used on you. If At home when burgled lock yourself in a room and phone the police or flee your home. You life is paramount not vigilanty justice, moral outrage, tv sets or any possession