relationship help: Having a hard time moving on after an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, even though its almost been a year. - Help.com

You can say that you were in an abusive relationship. You should save the details for your therapist.

If I’m your boyfriend, my first question is going to be: “Why did you STAY so long in an abusive relationship?”

So, before you look for a serious relationship, I think you need to find out WHY you stayed so long with an abusive boyfriend. If you don’t do that, you’re going to be looking for another guy just like the one you left.

Good point.. i know why i stayed, and i never want to be with someone like that ever again. He was extremely manipulative and i kept on giving him chances.. It sucks that it imprints badly on my character for trying to help him.. It adds to the shame and fear of it happening again.. i really appreciate your reply

You’re welcome.

Things in our background greatly influence our behaviors in the present.

Some of us who were abused or made to feel worthless when we were young unwittingly seek out mates who abuse us . . . that way we feel we are expiating the guilt we incur for simply being alive!

I think you know why you stayed . . . and I don’t think you’ll make the same mistake again.

Don’t dwell on it . . . and don’t talk about all of the details with your boyfriend. We think that if you keep talking about an ex, even in a negative way, that you’re still “carrying a torch” for him.

Get your bf to talk about himself . . . leave your abusive boyfriend in the dustbin of the past!

Thanks again, it helps to hear the other side of the relationship and how he might be feeling about it.