boyfriend help: I really don’t know what I’m expecting to accomplish with this, but here goes. - Help.com

break ups with someone we care about is always hard, even if we know it was the right decision. block his email address and reach out to family or even your coworkers at your job. you made a difficult decision, and it’s just going to be tough for a while. go out and buy yourself a big teddy bear. get yourself some nice new clothes. reach out to a friend whom you haven’t talked to in a while. moving on just takes time.

Everything is going to be okay. Its so easy to remember the good times and forget about the bad. I know that right now it feels like total ****, but you will feel better. The first few days are always the hardest. You can do this. Just take time to relax, for yourself. Talk to people. Paint. Listen to music. Be you. Anything to keep busy. Things will get easier but don’t call him until you are sure that you want him to be a stable part of your life. Above all, have hope. We love you.

When we lose people, it’s hard. It’s sometimes hard to remember the good times when there’s just so much heartache. But you deserve more than that. You deserve more than one single moment of sadness. A heart is a delicate thing; when it’s broken it feels like the end of the world. It feels as though it can never be fixed. I realize that I don’t know you but someone who can express the emotion that you just have is obviously someone with great integrity and you’ve gotta believe me that things will get better. Time heals all wounds. Dry your eyes, lift your spirits and keep smiling.

Maybe you expecting to accomplish at least one more person to certify what you feel?
Maybe you want someone to tell you it’s ok - just email him to come back?
But you know better..
So maybe, just maybe, you want to feel ok with yourself and you want someone to tell you that you made the right choice and you should retain your choice.

I will not tell you that what you did is normal, but I do trust that if it came to be that you had to kick him out of the house - it was probably for the best.
You did knew that it is a move you will not be able to “undo” without a very dear cost. so stay strong - do not be afraid to be alone for a while. it is ok to be alone - you can embrace that gloomy feeling and learn to appricate your breath and space and connect to your true self for a change. so it is an opportunity not a deadlock.

If you want him back, then maybe that means something. What was it that made you want him to go in the first place? Is this something you can work out if you sit down and get it all out? Relationships are hard. Everyone wants to think it should be easy, but nothing in life is easy… Take what good things you know of each other and brought you together and start from there. Sometimes it’s a breakdown in communication and by having a heart to heart without getting angry, you might be able to resolve old issues and move on happy. It’s always easy to throw people away when it’s not working out, but if he’s telling you how things have been terrible and how much he loves you and you still want him back, then maybe it’s a starting point to make things better. You never know until you try. Don’t give up if you love him. Try to find forgiveness in each other. That’s how friendships are made to last. We all hurt each other, but if you work towards common goals, anything is possible with an open mind and heart. You aren’t alone if you have someone who loves you and you love them the same. We live in a world where men can be assholes. If you have a good one that’s true to you and may have done/said some things out of hurt, it’s up to you both to get to the bottom of it and resolve things. You’ll never get past it that way even if you both move on. It may continue to show up in your future love endeavors. Good luck!

I think what you’re hoping for is reassurance that you made the right decision and that everything will be ok. You don’t seem to have much of a support structure around you to get that reassurance.

I was in a similar situation a few months ago. My ex was an emotionally and verbally abusive sociopath. He had also been staying with me. Eventually I had enough of his abuse and broke up with him. He also took every little thing that he paid for. For weeks he would switch between missing me and wanting to work things out, then hating me and telling me what a horrible person I was to him.

I don’t know what your relationship was like but if it was anything like mine (unstable, abusive, tiresome) then my advice to you is, when you start to miss him remind yourself of the reason you broke up with him. Remember how he behaved when you broke up with him. He was so overcame by rage that he intentionally set out to hurt you back in any way he could. Is that the kind of person you want to be with? If he really loved you would he leave you without a bed to sleep on? Is he apologetic for his behavior or is he just sorry you’re not around anymore?

I believe that you see people’s true colors in times of trouble. You have seen his. Deep down you know you have done the right thing. Keep yourself busy, force yourself to go out and do something on the weekend, watch a funny movie after work. You’ll be ok. The pain will fade.

I know you work hard but you must never underestimate the importance of having people who really care about you in your life. Family and friendships must be nurtured - you need to put in the time. Even if it’s a 5 minute Skype once a week and the odd text during the week.