life help: My boyfriend is still in love with his ex. - Help.com



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My boyfriend is still in love with his ex.

My boyfriend got really close to a girl about a year before we started dating (that’d be almost 3 years ago now). She lives in a foreign country and he was saving up money to go live with her. Unfortunately, when he had almost saved up enough, she suddenly stopped talking to him.

She was a BEAUTIFUL girl who was a little afraid of the internet. It took a long time for her to open up and send pictures of herself, town, etc. to my boyfriend. Because she was so pretty, every person she talked to on the internet kept bugging her for pictures. One day my boyfriend asked her what she was wearing (a normal conversation for them) and she freaked out, told him she hated him because he was like everyone else on the internet, and closed her facebook and email accounts…He’s never heard from her again.

My boyfriend was absolutely in love with her, and she blocked him out of her life because other people kept asking her for pictures. He had no warning anything was wrong and that he shouldn’t ask what she was wearing. But because he asked her that day, she completely severed contact.

My boyfriend can’t get over her. I think that since he so completely loved her and then the sudden loss (especially because it wasn’t directly his fault) has scarred him for life.

He tries to email her every once and a while, but it doesn’t work. When he thinks about her, he starts to cry. He still wants her, even if it’s just to talk for a minute. He can’t get over her. I feel like a pale substitute for the love he once had. In fact, I don’t even think he loves me.

How do I help him overcome this? While I want him to love me, I more want him to be happy. If I could reconnect the two of them I would–even if that meant he left me for her. In fact, I want to take him to this country so that he can find her (or another girl he could love).

This open post was written 11 months ago | V/U/S: 777, 6, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Completely, boyfriend, Internet, She Was, Wearing, CountrY, Close, Fact, life, live (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

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Dr. Jackson offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 43 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (11 minutes after post)

YOu don’t help him overcome it, you leave him. He has to overcome this on his own, and by your basically just a pillow for him in this state.

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trentlover20 offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months ago (46 minutes after post)

You’re taking this really well which shows that you are a nice person and very patient they’re very rare qualities in a person. If I was you I’d be really pissed off and would leave him in a heart beat and let him get on with his issues, people’s problems aren’t YOUR problems you have to think of yourself and what you want in this relationship as well as the other person. In a situation like this the only thing you can do is leave because you’re just gonna feel like his sloppy seconds and it’s not nice, find someone who genuingly wants to be with you and not just coz they’re on the rebound.

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The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 25 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (8 hours, 5 minutes after post)

My dear Anon, you are a chump. Your boyfriend is also a chump. This “beautiful girlfriend” was very likely a 43-year-old dude. Or a 58-year-old woman, married with three kids.

He’s a chump for “falling in love” with a “girl” he knows absolutely nothing about, and you are a chump for putting up with this situation for more than five seconds.

As Dr. Jackson said, you don’t help him “get over it.” How do you help someone get over being a chump?

I’m writing this because I think you can dump your chumpiness as soon as you dump this chump.

Jeez! Internet dating! Falling in love with people you know NOTHING about! Not even sure if you’re communicating with a girl or a boy!

PLEASE leave this chump before you irrevocably become a chump, too!

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Dr. Ozy offline Verified User (6 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 10 #
An Undisclosed Location | 11 months ago (15 hours, 37 minutes after post)

you can’t make someone love you. if i truly loved someone who didn’t want to be with me, i’d let them go. it isn’t a good situation for either of you to be in, although you both might want to stay. loving a lie only prolongs the pain further. but don’t go crazy with it. i know you want to be there and make things right for someone you care about and that somehow you’re okay with that. i know that in itself is hard to accept, but that plan won’t work. if you want someone to find love and happiness elsewhere, you can’t find it for them. you must truly let go.

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mari offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 1 week after post)

I never thought, in my whole life, that I would be writing to thank someone like prophetharry @ ymail. com for casting a love spell for my marriage, my husband of over 5 years was wanting a divorce because he said he was not happy in the marriage, due to communication problems that we were having. but prophet harry’s marriage spell worked wonders for us, now i and my husband are closer than ever as a couple very content and happy!” maria dusty

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The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 25 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (3 months, 1 week after post)

I suggest that “Prophet Harry” hies to Hollywood, and saves all of the failing marriages there!

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