friends help: How to tell that his behavior is not acceptable? - Help.com

Instead of fighting back that silly way, you should do a serious talking with him.

He’s not responded positively to my initial suggestion to message me when he knew he would not come home. A part of me of course wants to be civil and talk things through with him but another part of me wants to teach him a lesson hard way. Right at the moment as I type, I want to throw him out of my house.

well, he’s either sleeping with the new boy-friend, or, using boyfriend’s place to meet up with new girl at his house — something’s going on … i’d follow him just to see for myself what’s up

They are friends from junior high or something but reconnected lately. The guy is not a bad one (as I met him many times and my boyfriend also says he’s a nice guy) but he changed my boyfriend in a way that he now thinks it’s okay to act as he likes. He mentioned the move “change up” to describe the married guy as him and single guy as his friend jokingly. I’m not sure if this is a part of him acting out like he’s a single man. I honestly find it hard to cope with his behavior when we live under the same roof. I’ve mentioned some times that to me it’s important to know if he comes home or not (and if not, it’s natural to say I would like to know where he stays). Do you find this clingy or too much in any way? I doubt. It’s simple as one text message and if he can’t even do that, I don’t know how I can trust him.

yep, he could and should tell you truthfully why he’s so hung up on being over there - maybe after so much time he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, even though he is, but i’d get to the bottom of what’s going on so I could live my own life. If it’s time for a change, no problem - he’s not the only use to be good guy in the world - maybe it’s time for you to spread your wings and discover new ~

sigh maybe I was looking at the wrong guy after all.

You decide what’s acceptable to you.

I would like to know if my partner was going to come home that night

He’s not going to take the hint if you stayed out late. And since the two of you are not married, and presumably not engaged, he feels he has ZERO obligation to you.

And, truthfully, he does have zero obligation to you. That’s how he likes it. That’s why he doesn’t want to get married.

You have a perpetual adolescent as a boyfriend. You need to ditch this guy and find a real man who has a sense of responsibility, and has some potential as a husband.

This guy doesn’t. And if you don’t think he’s up to stuff during those wee hours of the morning, think again.

I guess what you are saying is true. I asked him to come home tonight so we could talk and now he’s not replying. If he doesn’t come home by midnight tonight, what kind of explanation could he have? I clearly stated that I want to talk to him and he needs to make it tonight.

Thanks guys for the advice and support, I think I’m making up my mind right at this moment as I type…

Communication and honesty are huge parts of a relationship, so just ask him where he was and what happened but say it light heartedly.

He came home finally and told me that he was with that guy friend the whole time. Stayed at his house the day before and went to an event last night. Photos of them were posted up by the guy this morning on the facebook so it verifies whereabouts he was last night though not the day before.

He admitted that he was wrong on not contacting me at all and apologized to me. But I said I wanted to take a break because emotionally I was so consumed and so tired of him. He insists we should stay together and I’m still thinking if it’s going to work out.

People make mistakes yes, and most of the time it’s worth discussing and growing from them. Usually, a relationship that is first getting started may go through a few rough patches as it finds its groove and figures out what works for the two people involved. Other times, however, you start to notice patterns of mistakes that don’t fit the mold, that don’t sit right with you, these are worth taking serious note of. You tried, like an adult to come up with a solution to the problem, have him text you if he thinks he’s going to be out late or stay out. Now you say you’ve been dating for 2 years, and it sounds like the two of you live together, so I assume at this point in your relationship with this guy, the two of you know each other very well. If he continues to hurt you by not informing you after having discussing the importance it holds for you to at least be kept in the know about his plans (which he did) and he furthermore didn’t contact you for 1.5-2 nights (an extreme act) then that’s very inconsiderate and shows you that he’s not considering how his actions are making you feel, and ultimately it not thinking about you period. Is the type of person you want to be with? How long can you continue to discuss the issue? If you want to make it work, you need to have a serious talk with him one last time and tell him if he doesn’t take your request seriously, you are going to call it quits, and if he doesn’t like the request, then he should leave. It’s basic consideration, no one should be left hanging & worried, especially not by someone who is supposed to be your partner.

I don’t think you need this kind of guy in your life!