depression help: Hello - I am a 39 year old single female with no children. - Help.com



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Hello - I am a 39 year old single female with no children.

I have been on disability for more than 3 years with no work. I have no real dreams of returning to work but real fear of losing what little I have left. I see myself in poverty, living on the streets, going to the Union Gospel Mission for food and trying to figure out where to find showers and shelter. To be honest, I have told myself recently we all have to die somehow so maybe this is my gradual descent to death. I have lingering questions, however, why I don’t have a different desire for my life. I don’t know if this is depression, oppression, suppression, or something else. To be honest, my parents are the only ones I have left and to be further honest it is my mother who doesn’t want to give up on me. It would hurt them if I were to die but it’s either them or me, going first. I just don’t understand how someone could end up this way? It’s like I have this sick twisted mind where I cry, feel scared but then laugh inside like a sick, innocent bystander. I guess if you were disabled and had no initiative for anything in life, what would you think about yourself?

This open post was written 11 months ago | V/U/S: 455, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Union Gospel Mission, something else, Suppression, disability, depression, Initiative, oppression, Returning, questions, This Way (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 11 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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Dr. Ralph offline Verified User (4 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (11 minutes after post)

How are you disabled? Don’t you know anyone? Are you in your home town?

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Grim_Hardcastle offline Verified User (4 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (14 minutes after post)

If i had it permanently then i would get on with some of my projects. I´m waiting for the right people to get their a$$ in gear and make something happen. Just waiting is no life either.

I have a lot of things that i want to do, but i feel like there is no point as i don´t know how long i´m allowed to go by my own compass. I have tried some things in the past and got skewed off course several times. Not really motivating so now i wait for a straight answer.
Bureaucratic systems can go and get themselves a bun!

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mandie_lut offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (18 minutes after post)

Well, I have been diagnosed with mental health challenges but it seems to be so much more than that. I don’t know where the true root of my problems stem from. I don’t have friends from high school or college and moved to the town that my parents live in. I would hide if I ever saw someone that knew me from my past. I have a few people I know from the mental health community but they seem to get along fine while I am still not accepting my life.

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Dr. Ralph offline Verified User (4 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (32 minutes after post)

The people I know are all trying to get on disability. It is like winning the lottery, they pay you for not working. Is it just that you are depressed? Are you homeless now?

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Help me with: Is this song politically incorrect?
The Sherlockian offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 26 #
An Unknown Location | 11 months ago (4 hours, 10 minutes after post)

You won’t believe this–but you’re still young. You have a rich, rewarding life ahead of you, if you but embrace it.

You may not believe this either, but you are better equipped for life than you think. In fact, you are probably better equipped than many people you would deem “successful.”

Believe it or not, also, people bumble through life a lot more than you think. It’s a lot of trial and error. We make mistakes. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes.

Trust yourself, kid! Sure, you’ll make mistakes, but we all do. Develop some real confidence in yourself. Then go out into the world and take it on . . . and if you feel that the world is gaining the upper hand, call on God . . . and He will equalize!

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