marriage help: My husband is suicidal. - Help.com

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I would call the suicide prevention hotline and tell them what you’ve written here. They have been trained to screen calls and they might be able to offer you some guidance as well as some resources for yourself. Just know you are not alone and keeping reaching out. You may also have community resources that you can contact. We have a local crisis line in my community that is anonymous and they have helped me in the past.

Gosh I am so sorry to hear all that you are dealing with. I can offer some suggestions here on things I know that can help guide you in some of the stuff you are dealing with. The other things I know you will have some really caring people here on help give you some good links and information more for your husbands situation.

First off your husband should qualify for disability if you have not looked into this please do . it is not much but every bit riht now will help.

As for therapy for yourself start calling around to places where you live that offer therapy and they should be able to ive you some resources on where you can get help for yourself for a small co pay and sometimes even free. It oes off your income and sounds like you will qualify for no pay. You need some support outside of the home to help you through this as well!

I understand getting to the point of not wanting to talk to family and close friends any more about your situation because it never seems to end and they don’t know how to help you through this.

As for the suicide stuff this is really a hard call and I have no experience in this area but I do know if you check back on your post others will give you plenty of resources to call.

I wish you the best and will be praying for you and your baby on the way…..!

I am so sorry that you have to go through all this. I have PTSD too, so I can relate a little at least.

I strongly suggest that you speak to his therapist. You might even be able to arrange for you both to talk to the therapist at the same time. We don’t have much money either, but my therapist let my husband and I talk to her together a few times.

A great resource would be the VA (Veterans Administration). They really do help veterans a lot with health care and getting jobs. He could even potentially see a doctor at the VA hospital there if you’re near one. You husband probably needs to be on meds anyway in addition to seeing a therapist. Not necessarily psych meds, but at least anti-depressants and possibly some anti-anxiety medication. I don’t know anyone who has their PTSD under control without at least anti-depressants.

You might want to look into getting your husband on disability as well. The VA will help with this too. If he’s on disability he gets his health insurance paid for and will get some money every month. Tell him he has to do this for your child. Lots of people don’t want to do this, but hopefully he’ll see how important it is since he is responsible for your baby too.

He is very lucky to have a supportive wife like you. I was also lucky in how supportive my husband has been. It really makes all the difference.

I don’t know if it’s true for him, but when I was really bad years ago I also did searches for suicide online without actually intending to go through with it. I never searched for any of that other stuff, but supposedly PTSD manifests more as anger for men and anxiety/depression for women. However, as a result of the PTSD I had irrational anger toward my husband even though I loved him more than anyone in the world. I think your husband probably feels that way too, but the PTSD is controlling him now.

Stay strong! Good luck!

I’m a retired military officer. I know something about what you’re going through. Here’s what I want you to do–I want you to get in touch with DAV (Disabled American Vets) and ask their help into getting your husband into a VA hospital and getting him a VA disability.

Here’s the link: http://www.dav.org/

Go down to where it says “Find Your Local Office.” Find your local office and make contact.

I think what hurt you the most is his “irrational anger” toward you. That’s how some PTSD conditions manifest themselves. People become very combative, and impatient.

I’m in Afghanistan right now. We just had an NCO evacuated back to the States. He was wetting the bed–the result of being in several IED explosions.

Also–talk to a local pastor. You are going to need some spiritual “reinforcement” to get through this. Your husband could use that, but he’s also going to need counseling and therapy. Unfortunately, the military was discharging people for behavioral problems when those problems were actually caused by PTSD.

Go to your respective families for help. This is the time for everyone to pull together. See a local Episcopal church priest for help with the electric bill.

Don’t give up. Dear lady, YOU must be the strong one now. Your husband is critically injured. His therapist doesn’t seem up to the job–talk to the DAV rep about getting him some VA help. Talk to your local Congressional rep if the VA drags its feet.

Will pray for your family and want you to know you’re not alone. It’s tough, I know. But you’re not alone! Give your husband all the love you possibly can, and know that it is not the real man inside your husband who is lashing out . . . it’s the man who has been injured and is not the man he was!

But with your love and some help, he can be the man you both want him to be!

This is a horrid situation and i apologize for you having to be in it. First off, you need to get him help! You said he is in therapy, maybe meet with his therapist alone and talk about what the sessions are like for your husband and then tell the therapist the reality or how you feel about this. The comments above mine are very helpful as well and i advise you to try those things too. Try and make him feel happy, like take him out on a picnic or remind him of the love that you two feel for each other. make him a romantic dinner followed by a romantic night. Try to make him realize life is worth living and that even though things are not going so well now, that they will get better. Remind him of how you guys met and why you love him and/or married him.

You are an amazing woman for wanting to stand by his side and want to help him for this. Sometimes, help is not what they need, but time to think things through. PTSD is suffered by many people who joined the military and is a difficult thing to deal with. You need to make him feel wanted and loved, but not at your own cost. Do not let him degrade you in any way. Instead of fighting, maybe it may be better to just walk away and let the tension decrease. I do not know the extent to which your fights are, or how they get resolve, if so.. but i feel that you are doing a great job. Even though he is unemployed, you are still working and trying to save your husband. There are many help sites and organizations that deal with such issues as PTSD, so i advise researching them and seeing what experts have to say. Maybe they can help you both cope with this and work out these issues. You need to stay as strong as you can for both of you. You sound like an amazing person and i commend you for that. You can do this and you both will get through it. Love conquers all

To all that replyed here………I love post that people here on Help have the experience and information available to give to the OP! Chev-Jame I had a feeling you would have some good information to share here and you did! Awesome……