And finally, goodbye.
And hello again, me.
I said some really stupid thing. Along the lines of getting it on with you. And I regret saying it right after. I got no reply from you. And I know I deserve nothing more.
I don’t know what the hell that came from. But that’s the truth. And I don’t think I can ever look at you as a friend again, as much as you say that.
We had some good times, you and me. I had all these plans for us, and it’s hard to accept that those plans are no more. I won’t be coming back to visit you, I won’t be sneaking over to your house to hug and hold you and kiss you, and we won’t be spending hours talking into the night.
We broke up not because we are not able to be with each other. And I guess that really frustrated me. Knowing that we still love each other, but we can’t be together.
I was wrong in thinking an LDR would work. I long for the physical aspect of the relationship just as much as you.
I was wrong in sending you that message after we agreed to just be friends. I was hurt, I was frustrated. I wanted it. I had been so close, and I even had the opportunity. But I didn’t act on it. Still. That’s no excuse for my behavior. I was wrong, and I admit it.
I don’t know if we’ll ever talk again. But I have had a good run. I learned things I never learned before. I enjoyed love, and now I’m thirsty for it.
But right now, I’m being tortured. Knowing that I made the wrong move right after this. But at the same time, I needed to know, for certain. And you needed to know that I can’t manage it.
I’ll look forward now. And I won’t look back.
Thank you for everything.
Since writing this post Shigaku may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Shigaku is a verified member, has been around for 3 years, 2 months and has 150 posts and 747 replies to their name.
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