I’m really upset.
I don’t know how to feel or whether to say anything. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He is very affectionate, kind and loving to me and I know he wants to marry me. He’s spoken to his mum about it. Today I was tidying our place, putting stuff in the attic, throwing stuff etc. I found a small black book so I opened it to find out what it was, and it was a diary of my boyfriends from just as we started dating. Before we started going out he had just finished with someone that he’d been with for 5 months. His longest relationship before now. In this diary was all about his ex, how he missed her and still thought of her, and occassionaly he mentions either having a good or bad time with me. I didn’t read anymore but it looks like he’s saying that for a few months that we started seeing eachother. I feel really hurt, like our relationship is based on a lie. That he didn’t care about me at first and now I’m confused about the whole 5 years we have been together? Is he just settling for me?! I feel really used, that I gave myself to him and he didn’t.
Since writing this post Zebr may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Zebr is not a verified member, has been around for 9 months, 3 weeks and has 1 posts and 1 replies to their name.
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