boyfriend help: I’m really upset. - Help.com

Ummm, unfortunately you came by this info in a sneaky way. Otherwise I would say you need to talk to your boyfriend.As it is you may have some explaining to do.

Let’s face it relatioships are dynamic, how he felt two months in is very different than 5 years into your relationship. He is with you not her, you have to trust that that tells you where his allegiance lies.

I can understand your disapointment (some things are better left unsaid - which is why people have black books).

You remain concerned, maybe approach this from the point of view of talking to him about your relationship, where it is now and where you both see it going. After 5 years that would be a reasonable discussion. That might get to the core insecurity you are expressing without focusing on the past.

Ex’s are just that - old news.

Good luck,

KM

Well if that’s the case than its better to address it with him head on.

I think its normal to work through feelings, sometimes even as you begin a new relationship. Albeit this is not ideal (and cetainly not romantic), I think it happens more than you might think. Before rushing to judgement give the man you love a chance to explain.

Lord knows I have written things in private that if not understood in the context they were written could be upsetting to my wife.

Ultimately your going to have to decide how much this means to you, and how you choose to let it affect you moving forward.

Cheers,

KM

that was 5 years ago. are you going to leave the man you love because 5 years ago he was having a difficulty getting over his ex and he was unsure about his new relationship with you? that really sounds quite petty. would you deserve to be treated the same way if the roles had been reversed?

Talk to him about it and tell him how you feel if it’s bothering you that much.

Zebr-I would leave this alone. Not only is someone’s Diary persoanl this was 5 years ago. Sure he was still dealing with his feelings for the girl he just spent 5 months with rather they were good or bad feelings. And you had just come in the picture…in his mind he was probably still in the process of letting go of his feelings for her and just starting his feelings for you.

A Diary was were he was working his thoughts out in his mind and has nothing to do with the relationship you have with him now! It is not current or recent so let it go! It’s not like he was saying in there that he was still seeing her and dating you then you might have something to bring up. But still wouldn’t because you had no business reading his Diary PERIOD!

You came across it and should have stopped and not read it when you discovered what it was.

If you are letting something like this effect a 5 year relationship that you are saying is leading into Marriage then this is diffenantly a sign of Problems to come.

Hopefully you can process your emotions and work through how you are feeling and save yourself and him the embarrasement.

I think what you need to get a grip on is this was 5 years ago and you had just come into his life as she was exiting his life. At that point he had more time knowing her then he did you!

He choose you not her and is with you now! You say you feel like your relationship is based on a lie all because he had feelings for someone he knew before he dated you! How would this be a lie? Do you have any x bf’s? or is this your first love? Only if this was the first guy you dated and had feelings for could I remotely understand why you would feel this way “not having the eperience of someone else” in your life.

You said alot of nice quality’s this guy has and your talking here on throwing it all away WoW! Seriously think about what you are saying!

I’m sorry you found this and it hurt you this much but it really is not any big deal at all! And has absolutely nothing to do with the last 5 years you have been with him!