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I have borderline personality disorder.
I’m also in a relationship, and I’m finding it difficult to maintain due to me just going crazy 24/7. I’m on meds and going to weekly therapy. I’m generally working so hard to get better and to behave better but i’m finding it impossible. My outburts and behaviour is really upsetting my partner. Just wondering if anyone on here has had experience with something similar or knows anything?
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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i also have bpd, what’s going on right now? does your partner know about it?
Yeah, my partner knows. I’ve explained my behaviour, my past, about why i do things etc. I really do try to explain and communicate cause i know its important. But it seems like the more i talk about it the more my partner gets upset. I think the whole bpd is just getting to him and any mention seems to strike a chord with him.
i was just diagnosed with it so i’m interested. (i’m not sure if it’s an acurate diagnosis yet though)curious to see where this thread goes
so what has exactly happened lately?
I know exactly what you’re going thru. My outbursts were too much for even my family to bear and have stopped seeing and talking to me. Before your experience gets as bad as mine was, TRY. From all the advise I’ve recieved my entire life, they all say it’s within me to control myself and my thoughts and my actions.
The only advise I can give you is to try your hardest to think about your actions before you act upon anything that causes your outbursts, because your actions may have detrimental affects towards your partner or whoever is near you when these outbursts occur.
For me, reading books and reading the bible helps me to calm myself down and maybe it could work for you as well. Best of luck!!
Read these books to start with
“I hate you - don’t leave me”
“Sometimes I act crazy”
“The borderline personality disorder survival guide”
Best of luck.
Basically, I got into an argument with a randomer, got really angry and just started throwing stuff and then tried to kill myself. I’ve also been more sensitive and so therefore my aggressive. Even just me being argumentative is getting him down let alone the who psycho act i mentioned above . I have no idea what to do.
I try to control my actions so much but sometimes the rage just takes over. It’s sorta crazy. Its like im there but its not me and im watching. Thanks for your advice!
And are you smoking pot? I used to smoke a lot of pot and it sort of made me REALLY emotional to cause a lot of outbursts. ?!?
Have you looked into DBT therapy? My sister suffers from borderline personality disorder (and also bipolar disorder) and it was life changing for her and for us as her family. I also found that being in therapy myself, and part of a support group, helped me to rebuild my relationship with her.
Your relationship with your boyfriend is obviously much different than my relationship with my sister, but I still think that he would benefit from being in a group of other people who are in similar situations. I don’t know if he is open to something like that, but if he is invested and wants to make it work, then I would highly recommend it. Or, if nothing else, he might benefit from some literature (like “Stop Walking on Eggshells”), and a space where he can reflect and deal with it outside of conversations with you.
The most important thing is how open you are being — the fact that you are able to discuss it openly with him, and let him know that you are working on it is excellent. Ultimately, he might not be the right person for you, but know that you are doing the right things, and as long as you keep working on yourself, you will find the right partner to work on it with (be it him, or someone else).
Also — DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy
None of us is perfect. Try the meds for a while and get a therapist to help you with the root cause of the problem.
Human beings should not be on mind drugs their entire lives.
Most of us have some kind of “disorder,” but we just keep slogging on!
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